Throwing herself onto the floor

[Phimma]

My 17 month old toddler throws herself onto the floor when she doesn't get her own way, screams and cries. Looking for the best way to discourage and stop this please.

Ignore her. She is looking for a reaction

Thanks, I've tried that, but she just carries on. Hate to think what the neighbours must think I'm doing to her.

Really as said above, ignore. Of your neighbours have had children then they will remember what it is like.

Or just give her what she wants?

My LB has epic tantrums and has done since 12m! The best technique that I have found is to distract, normally with a toy/book/singing but I have been known to give food if we’re out and about!

It does depend on why he’s having a tantrum though too. He throws a fit when he’s really frustrated (I.e. can’t get a toy in or out of stuff) so in that circumstance I try to get his attention and say ‘help?’ And I’ll then do what he’s trying to do.

However, if he is having a tantrum because I’ve said no, then he doesn’t ever get to have what he wanted just coz he’s having a tantrum. That’s when I find distracting a good technique to get them to end quickly.

And for the tantrums that he won’t be distracted from, as others have said I make sure he’s safe but let him get on with it. I stay close by but don’t give him any attention. And spend a lot of time praising behaviour that I want to encourage. At the end of the day though toddlers are always going to tantrum!

Thank you for that, I'm trying the distraction method, it is quite effective, 🤞🤞🤞

Tantrum it is just a stage they have to get through. Most people will understand and not judge you.

The one think you need to avoid is making the tantrum work for her. Distract but don't give in or reward. Those will result in the tantrums being prolonged and escalated.

At 17 months this isn't about trying to get her own way. She's overwhelmed by her emotions and her inability to understand them and express herself. However , toddlers are very quick to find out that the behaviour is useful if you give her what she wants to shorten or reward the tantrum. That's the reason some children carry them on past toddlerhood. Caveat; there are other reasons too.

Distraction is good, as is maintaining a clam but supportive presence. Let her see you as a source of safety, security and comfort during overwhelming and distressing experiences. She needs you to be ready to offer cuddles when she's calm enough, comfort, labels for her emotions and, when she's a bit older, a debrief to help her understand what happened and what could happen differently next time.

Interesting psychology and all makes sense. She's had a lot to deal with in her short life and I want her to feel secure. I am trying to distract her with words or things, and picking her up and giving her a cuddle, it's getting the balance of not rewarding tantrums that's hard.