2yr old scaredy cat if other kids touch him

[boo64]

My ds (2.1) has long been a bit scared of other kids. He had a few bad experiences when he was around 12m at the hands of other toddlers and I think it made him wary. Some kids take all that normal toddler aggression in their stride but ds just doesn't forget.

I have posted about related stuff on here before but the specific issue I have now is that if another child comes up to ds and so much as touches him, even if they are just being kind, he points to where they touched him and does a massive cry which is what he does if he really has been hurt.

I am pretty sure this is attention-seeking on his part.

He is generally a sensitive chap and basically what I want to know is how to toughen him up a teeny bit - it's fair enough to cry if another child actually hurts him but not if they just touch him gently!

He is ok ish at nursery (does 3 mornings a week) - maybe as he knows the other kids well now - he used to be like this there too though.

It is awkward when he does this though as it is like he is accusing the other child of hurting him when they have done nothing wrong so I feel bad for the other child and also awkward with their mums.

I'm sure he will grow out of it but any advice for the meantime?

.

someone - I know there are bigger problems in the world, but hasn't anyone had this...?

"shurrup theres nowt up wi' you"

course if your all there there my sweet baby oh my god are you bruised my wicky wicky doooby wooby bobbins come here whilst i kissy kissy better" he will be

I think it's normal. My ds hates other children touching him too, gets quite upset by it.
which is fair enough IMO, I'd hate it if people kept coming up to me and touching me as well lol

My ds is 2.2 and is quite funny around other children. He is fine with his cousins and my friends daughter but if I take him to toddler groups he doesn't interact with any of the other children, he will normally take a toy and then go and find his own space as far away from everyone as he can. If another child comes over he will move.

He gets very upset if another child comes anywhere near him and if someone takes something from him I never have to worry about him decking them he just lets them have it and then cries. He always wants to leave after 30 mins.

I don't really have any advice. I'm kind of just going with it at the moment. I try to get him to interact with other kids even if it's just me saying something like "look at that boy on the bike". Do you stay fairly close to your ds when he is with other children? Could you encourage him to let them touch him? Maybe just start with encouraging him to hand another child a toy.

If you give your ds a bit of sympathy when he cries what does he do? Does he want more or is he reassured enough to go off until the next time?

Sorry I've probably been no use but I didn't want you question to go unanswered and I wanted you to know that it's not just your ds that's funny around other children.

Custardo - totally agree - but I'm not like that. I just tend to say something like ' don't be silly they didn't hurt you and they were just being friendly' etc

There were no replies when I started my post! I need to stop writing eassays.

Maybe have a few children over to play. He might react better in smaller groups, which might mean better results in bigger groups

Thanks tutu - it is nice to know there are others out there the same!

If I give him a bit of sympathy he stops ....til the next time, but it just seems a bit pathetic!

Maybe we could get our boys together and they could ignore each other!!

I like the idea of encouraging a controlled touch from another trusted child as you suggest!

Some kids he is fine with - and he had got better for a bit but I think it has got worse again.

I think he'll grow out of it. DS and I meet up with a group of friends that we've known since all the babies were teeny, they're now all 2 and a half.
None of them like being grabbed/touched by the others particularly, although we don't have the crying reaction like your ds.
They are getting better now- although they seem to be progressing to just pushing each other over instead
they WILL grow out of it. won't they?

Does he let you show him affection

Just another thought, what happens if you are not around. Is your ds the same when it's another adult with him? I'm sending DP with ds to toddler group this week so he can see what ds is like, but I'm wondering if ds might behave differently with dp.

I don't think he is so bad with it at nursery but he did do it when his dad was there too. Reckon he wouldn't be so bad if it was just his dad there nad I wasn't around at all.

He does let us show him affection sometimes but not always but his dad isn't the affectionate type either (doesn't volunteer kisses or hugs unless I ask - poor me!!)

Sometimes I ask ds for a kiss or cuddle and he says no but don't most toddlers do that sometimes? Other times he comes and sort of cuddles up with me and does sweet things like tries to feed me, so not too worried that there is something serious underlying this. And he is very sociable indeed with adults (especially ladies!) - quite a charmer sometimes.