Not speaking / understanding - could it be autism?

[Brogan19]

My DS is 29 months and does not talk or understand simple instructions.

He says about 6/7 words which are not repetitive and sometimes says them out of the blue .

His eye contact has improved so much in the last month.

He can’t follow simple instructions and only understands when I say ‘no’ which is when he is doing something he shouldn’t be.
He understands when I say “hand” or “come” but that’s about it!

He has a 4 year old brother who he won’t play with. Only when there chasing each other.

I’m so stressed out and worried sick in thinking it can be something serious.

He has had an ear test which came out fine. He has also had 4 sessions on speech and language and been referred to a child development paediatrician.

My family are saying to me I’m looking into too much as im always looking for symptoms and diagnosis on google! And say his just lazy and stubborn.

The more days are going by I’m starting thinking the worse! I can’t eat , sleep, feel negative everyday. Want to quit my job!

Following

How much input does he get? Being talked to and with, read to, songs etc.?

Also, autism isn't "the worst".

OK so first things first, it's unfair to label him as lazy and stubborn. Some of the things you are concerned about sound like genuine concerns. After 4 sessions of speech and language to be referred on also says you may justified. Children can have glue ear and pass hearing tests.
Secondly autism is not the end of the world, he is still him, no doubt loving, handsome, cheeky, adorable a diagnosis won't change any of that. Yes he might need a support. He has you as his champion. Don't ever think Autism is bad it's not, it's just different

I talk to him a lot throughout all the day. Sometimes it’s like his in his own world.

Just feel so helpless for him

Just heard so many things about autism In a . Negative way and it’s scaring me for his future . I keep reading google and it’s making me have a breakdown where I’m stressing myself and looking for things .

He was referred to a Paediatrician the same time as speech and language but the wait is supposed to be 8 months long. Which shill probably be Christmas time for me Ds to be seen.

Do you think these symptoms are a classic sign of autism

Hun, every person with autism is different. The thing is the more you read the more you will convince yourself something is wrong. There are traits which people on the spectrum share. If you get a diagnosis early then you are very lucky because he will have support through school and nursery. There is the Autism act which will protect him, there will be support for various charities and organisations. People with Autism say it as it is, they are truthful, kind and bright. They see the world in black and white which is brilliant. They only see the good in people and see the world through innocent eyes.... These are just a few of the positive things I can think of.

@fandabydosey I think I am reading way too much into it!

I just want to help him and I don’t know how which is making my heart break.

He had a glue ear check today and everything was ok, slight ear infection in the left ear.

I’m just more worried in how his future will be .

Autism or no autism that worry about how our kids will cope will always be there. I have done this autism thing for 20 years. God it is hard in ways I never knew and easy in ways I didn't know either. But I also have a child who sails through life, no problems at all and that is just as challenging. Let me find you the poem that helped me

watch this and remember Holland aka your little boy is and always will be beautiful. Some children are late talkers and they catch up with the input of speech therapy and once they start they don't stop. A speech delay is just that a delay in speech. Don't rush off down any path take each day as it comes and enjoy your son xx

That’s the thing I feel so stressed about what if and what ain’t that it’s ruining my time with both my children .

The speech is not good but my main red flag is the understanding. He only understands “no” “hand” or come to mummy. When I call his name or anyone else he literally ignores! That’s what is puzzling me ? @Fandabydosey

"I talk to him a lot throughout all the day."

How do you talk to him? Do you have his attention or is he frequently distracted by background noise? Do you only talk to him, or also with him, making conversation, allowing him to respond and get engaged?
Do you read to him? Sing to/with him?

"When I call his name or anyone else he literally ignores!"
How often do you say his name? When my son was younger (he's 2 now) I once realised that I don't call him by his name very often but rather used different pet names. So I had to actively remind myself to use his name more.

@SmartPlay tbh he does frequently get distracted by background noises. I talk to him and also try and follow what his doing . For example if starts talking in “baby language” I will go along with him as though
I understand him? Which I’m not sure if it’s the correct way?

I also allow space after speaking with him to respond or even copy a word. Sometimes his mouth opens like his going to say something and nothing comes out. Or then he just smiles or laughs at me?

I sing along Nursrry ryhmes which he likes and laughs and smiles but no reaction in language towards it?

I also call his name a lot. To the point I get myself frustrated where he doesn’t respond at all.

Just so worried about this all. Don’t know what to do

"tbh he does frequently get distracted by background noises."

Can you avoid those, or is it out of your control?

"For example if starts talking in “baby language” I will go along with him as though I understand him? Which I’m not sure if it’s the correct way?"

You mean you talk baby language as well then? I wouldn't do that. Or do you mean you answer in proper language? In that case: Sure, why not!

"Just so worried about this all. Don’t know what to do"

Don't worry too much! He might be just late in that area, which is fine. It might be autism, but that's not the end of the world. Keep supporting his language development, wait for the appointment and try to relax a bit in the meantime. What would be the worst that could happen/be "wrong" with your son?

@SmartPlay I can definitely avoid the noises e.g television . I will start cutting down on the tv and see if this helps more with his name calling.

Yea Iv been replying in proper language to him but still no response his end .

I’m just worried of him being labelled as autistic. Not saying it’s a bad thing but I have a friend who has an autistic child and Iv seen the difference in treatment and reactions from schools and children and it breaks my heart.

Just don’t think I can physically deal with it myself.

Sounds really selfish but I suffer bad from anxiety , panic attacks and depression too which don’t help at all.

My main red flag is his understanding. I think if he was understanding I would be much more relaxed but this is my main concern atm with the speech being second.

Just want him to understand and talk and connect with me. Sometimes he don’t even notice I’m there and it breaks my heart

"I can definitely avoid the noises e.g television . I will start cutting down on the tv and see if this helps more with his name calling."

Don't just cut down, turn that shit off completely!
I know it's very common to have the TV on constantly, at least in the UK, but it has been scientifically proven over and over again that this is really bad for babies and toddlers! Both watching actively and having it on as a background noise has a negative effect on language development, attention and general brain development!

@SmartPlay. Thank you for your reply’s and advice .

Your right! Going to cut it out completely from today

X

@SmartPlay totally agree back ground noise is a real issue. @Brogan19 what will worrying do? It is already stressing you out, I totally get why you are worried but when you have children you can't choose what you can and can't deal with. I know that sounds harsh but I have a young adult who is on the spectrum and they are a truly lovely person. There are far worse things to be than autistic.

@Brogan19 hello, I’ve just had a read in this thread, how is your dd doing now? I’d love to hear from you as I am in a very similar situation as you.