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2 year old won't speak at nursery

4 replies

mizzles · 17/08/2019 23:24

Hi, I'm hoping that someone can offer some guidance about my DD, who is very verbal at home but won't/can't speak at nursery, which she attends full-time. She was 2 in May and moved up to the 2-3 age room shortly after her birthday. When she was in the baby room, it was clear to me that she spoke less there than at home, but I didn't think much of it. But since moving up, she has stopped speaking to the staff at all. It's definitely not a language or understanding issue as her speech at home is excellent: she speaks in long sentences, uses different tenses correctly and has a wide vocabulary - she never stops talking and can hold a conversation very well. But at nursery she won't even whisper to the staff to tell them what age wants for breakfast. They say that they often catch her talking to herself when she's playing (which she also does at home) and when I collect her she immediately becomes chatty. And although she doesn't speak there, her speech has definitely become more sophisticated over the last couple of months, so she is picking up something there.

The nursery are about to start 121 sessions with her to help her feel more confident there. I've suggested some of the games we play at home to see if that helps. Does anyone have experience of what approaches are likely to be helpful? At this point I just want her to be able to communicate her basic needs while she's there, particularly as we are potty training her.

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HennyPennyHorror · 18/08/2019 00:16

My DD was the same OP. She was at a private nursery in the early 200s and I don't think they'd heard of selective mutism.

If you've not heard of that, look it up.

Luckily, the nursery was quite good with her and she did eventually get over it.

She remained shy until I moved her schools from the one attached to the nursery to a nice village state school. once there, they were all over her as she was shy and they wanted to help her.

Took the very dedicated teacher a year but she got my DD out of her shell and joining in.

She's always spoken to her peers...it was just adults she struggled with. It began to fade when she was about 3-4.

It sounds like your DD's nursery are very good and the 1 to 1 will really help her.

My tips are never, ever tell her to "Say hello!" or anything in social situations. It will make her feel pressured.

If people speak to her and she doesn't respond, don't say "oh she's shy" or anything....I used to say "Oh she's not in a talking mood today" and smile....I never apologised....it's not their fault bless them and I didn't want her to feel she was doing something wrong when she could not help it.

HennyPennyHorror · 18/08/2019 00:16

Oh....my DD is 15 now...tonnes of friends, very talkative at school.

Poetryinaction · 18/08/2019 08:50

My 3 year old is the same. I'm not worried though. I think I was similar and am perfectly confident now. All in good time.

mizzles · 25/08/2019 00:21

Thanks all! And apologies for the slow reply. A bit of progress: she told her key worker she needed the toilet the other day, so it's looking up.

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