Very clingy/assertive 2.5 year old

[Hoodless86]

My youngest daughter turned 2 in April - she's always been very very clingy, but seems to be wanting to start to do things on her own without being stuck to me!

She is really clever academically (knows all her numbers/letters/shapes/colours etc), but lacking in social skills. This is to the extent that I take her out to a class or group aimed at her age group and she won't join in or interact with anyone except me, either her age or adults. She'll either want to go off and do her own thing (and have a huge tantrum if she can't!), but mostly come to me and tell me she wants to be cuddled.

Her 4 year old sister is the exact opposite - a very social child, confident, chatty etc - and I've no idea why there is such a difference.

We're hoping to send her to nursery a couple of mornings a week from September in the hope that this will help, but I've no idea whether she will settle.

Does anyone have any advice or ideas on what I can do? I'm really finding it hard work to keep her happy at the moment!

Both of my DD's were like yours in social settings. Both wanted me right by their side the entire time and did not join in or wander with the other toddlers.

Now they are 15 and 11 and absolutely fine. They both struggled with letting me go when they began nursery. Both began at 3. Just keep going...be firm when you leave her. But in reality I don';t think starting them early helps when they're like this.

Even at 3 mine struggled and would have also struggled at 2.

At 3 they have more understanding though so if you can wait, do.

My son, who just turned 2, is very similar. He also is really good intellectually but has troubles in social situations, especially in groups and especially with children his own age. He's better with older children, because they pamper him and do what he wants ;)
Confined spaces are also worse than open spaces (e.g. inside playgroups vs. playground).

I tried to encourage him to be more social, to take the fear off him and be there for him as back up. At the same time I didn't push him to actually be in the situations he's most uncomfortable in. So the encouraging mainly took place in open spaces like playgrounds, when there was another small child close to him interested in his toys.

I did notice during the last weeks that it's slowly getting better. I don't know whether it's through my "work" with him or if it's just his personal development. Doesn't matter anyway.

I assume he'll never be a person who enjoys crowds, which is perfectly fine. He might just be a rather shy person who likes his peace and quiet.

Sounds like my SD. She was 2.5 when I moved in an incredibly clingy to her mum (and always had been. It wasn't to do with me turning up.)

She did fine in Kindergarten. She remained terrible at the 'saying goodbye' part but had a great time once she'd had a hug or two from the staff there. She's still not one to run straight off and play with the other kids immediately but has great friends there.

She turned five earlier this week, and it's her first week back after summer holidays - she's been surprisingly great and easy to drop off there :) What I'm saying is that she might find it easier to interact and play without you there. Because whilst you're there, the clinging option is going to win.

She's also VERY strong willed and stubborn. But bright and genuinely hilarious - she might make us tear our hair out twice a day, but she'll make us laugh a lot more.

Her older sister is the complete opposite and always has been.