Should you *make* a three-year-old clean their teeth and wash hands, or can you leave it up to them to choose?

[GrrrTeethCleans]

Teeth cleaning and encouraging hand washing before bedtime have become hellish with ds (3.2). I have just flopped on the sofa after another miserable bedtime, which I feel terrible about. I lost my temper (again), and ds has gone to sleep with mucky hands and his teeth uncleaned. All the ideas for making hand washes and teeth cleaning fun don't wash anymore (excuse pun). I want lovely, snugly bedtimes again, and a son who is intrinsically motivated to take care of basic personal hygiene, and to achieve this, I'm tempted to take a risk in stopping trying to make him do these things.

If I display some pictures of healthy and not so healthy (unbrushed) teeth, and frequently explain and remind ds about the importance of these things, would it be reasonable, responsible and realistic to simply leave the ball in his court? Or must he be made to do these things, every bedtime, at this age? And if so, how?!

Thanks. Grrr.

I think you should make them clean thier teeth and wash thier hands but try to find the most encouraging way to do it.

For hand washing a song often works well. You ask them to try and sing an entire song or say the alphabet while the a washing and then when they are done singing, they rinse.

For brushing you could try a hour glass timer. It is fun for them to turn it over and then they brush until all the sand has gone through. I have one that usually goes for three minutes and was given to me by the dentist.

I think I might be evil.

I told DS (2.8) that if he didn't brush his teeth thoroughly, they might fall out (he is now fine about brushing, provided I go and get the toothbrush/toothpaste). He kindly volunteers his toothbrush to me on the basis that "mummy needs her teeth too".

I also told him that if he left vast amounts of chocolate icecream on his face, it just MIGHT attract bees. Wiping his face is now a breeze

i think teeth brushing comes with age.. or may be i was less lenient in the eagerness to get them in to bed. told them toothfairy would not take teeth unless they were clean. only now, aged 7 i dd3 slightly better, dd aged 10 much better and ds, 12 super douper

much firmer about handwashing, but particularly after loo, before meals, so pos not before bed,

I think they are definitely necessary too, and hand washing should be done before every occasion when hands are likely to go in the mouth (bedtime) or into food, if you want to avoid threadworms, which is what most handwashing is about IMO

I heard one suggestion which was give child a choice to "brush teeth or go without sweet foods". Kind of logical. Pointydog's suggestion was fine too IMO.

well, franny, if people really make such a song and dance routine over every tooth-brushing time, you could exploit a new niche. Hire yourself out as 'Toothbrush Time Entertainer'. You'd make a packet.

Oh lordy

the Franny baiters are following me from thread to thread now

it's a conspiracy to drive me off MN

I think a ribbon on a stick is needed.

I'll give you a ribbon on a stick

Mine liked timers while they brushed and I brushed mine along side them.
Morning brush can be a quick freshen up but do them well in the evening when you have more time, perhaps not leave it until last thing when they are really tired.

Tooth shaped one othr reward stickers there too aimed at dentists.
\link{http://www.edirectory.co.uk/pf/880/mia/d/baby+dental+care+clown+tooth+brushing+time r/pid/5198485\Clown one.

I would make it all matter of fact try not to get into a battle but make it quite clear this is what we all do, no choices or letting them off. Just rewards and praise if done with no fuss.

\link{http://www.edirectory.co.uk/pf/880/mia/d/baby+dental+care+clown+tooth+brushing+time r/pid/5198485\Clown one.}
but any old timer will do, sand, kitchen digital what ever, let them set it.

\link{http://www.edirectory.co.uk/pf/880/mia/d/baby+dental+care+clown+tooth+brushing+time r/pid/5198485\Clown one}

oh feck it cut and paste.

OMG it's a clown one

??

sorry

sorry

some people (naming no names) are taunting me on another thread with clown references

oh god this is how a breakdown starts isn't it?

I know you've already tried singing, but we did quite well with the Cbeebies tooth-brushing song for quite a while with ds (3.2 yrs). He's also recently got quite into Power Rangers (I have no idea how, I think some of the other kids at nursery must have older brothers or something) and OralB do a Power Rangers fruit flavoured toothpaste. I produced it one evening and told him that the Power Rangers thought he was such a good boy that they asked me to give him some of their special toothpaste as a reward. He was chuffed and likes using it.

There is a Little Princess handwashing story which ds likes and it did make him slightly more amenable to hand washing. He never used to refuse completely but he was always very resistant, especially when his hands looked clean.

"By lulumama on Fri 03-Aug-07 20:04:07
wrap child tightly in bath towel, with arms pinioned firmly to sides, clamp one arm around child, hold brush in the other and scrub those pegs

teeth brushing and handwashing are compulsory in the lulu's household!"

omg, am i wierd to be wildly chuffed that lulu and i have the exact same approach to teethbrushing?? to be fair, ds1 (4.2) now doesnt need 'forcing' and will open wide and lemme brush. ds2 (3.1) and ds3 (18m) get the armstrappedintowel treatment.

i do lots of explaining the whys and wherefores as well...

i didnt read past that post btw! (in case post was wildly irrelevent)

FrannyandZooey sorry not aware of the clown taunts .

I am trying hard to believe you, really I am

francoise, no idea whats etting at you, but dont let it under your skin. clowns?? eh??

think lots of the approaches on here are really quite relevent to people who only have one toddler aged child ata time. three kind of reduces the effectiveness of some.trust me, ive tried a lot of them.

Ooo, more posts. Great stuff, ladies. Thanks. Amazingly, we haven't had to try much in the way of new tricks just yet, though new ones have been noted. After posting Friday, I proceeded to spend my 'relaxing evening' making two posters. I found images off the web to make a poster full of kids' rotten teeth (was pretty shocked myself ), and pictures of healthy pegs/kids cleaning their teeth to make a second poster. One has a toothbrush at the top with a cross through it (no teeth clean), and the other has a beaming, uncrossed toothbrush (teeth clean). I have showed these poster 'choices' to ds since yesterday morning - obv with lots of explaining - and he has chosen, without fail since and with minimal resistance, to be a teeth-cleaning boy. Bloody marvellous! It seems the posters have put in pictures what we've been wittering on about for ages - no teeth cleaning ... blah blah ... sugary build-up ... germs ... acid ... blah blah ... holes in teeth, etc. They're so much more immediate and easy to understand. OK, maybe a little sensationalist, but they're doing the trick - for now. Excuse glee - am just feeling so pleased to have easy bedtimes back! £1,000,000 a poster.

i love a happy ending! [SMILE]

I can see this has moved on (not reading the thread is my pet hate )
but on the odd occasion where DS has refused a teeth brushing I've told him fine but no sweet stuff that day or the next day.
I've never had to follow through as he's always allowed me, usually a few minutes later