Help...my ds seems to hate his daddy

[dubaimum]

yesterday my dh collected ds (aged 3.4) from nursery and the teacher told him that ds had said that "daddy beat me" and now today when he collected him ds pushed him away and said no. was wondering if anybody else has experienced anything like this, my dh is totally distraught. Is this just a stage he is going through?

Really sorry to hear what happened. I havent had any experience of this, so I cant really give you any solid advice. But they do go through strange phases, becoming really clingy to one person. Have you noticed that he is drawn more to you at the moment? Im sure it will pass though.

Haven't experienced this exactly, but ds does have a definite preference for dh, and also makes up stories that we (or rather 'mum and dad' who seem to be different from mummy and daddy) throw him out of windows. Slightly worrying, but I think it's just his imagination running riot. He has also claimed to have pulled me from a raging river before I drowned, accused me of making poison sandwiches, and told me he was born in a forest with a secret twin. He is 3 and 3 months.

I think it is a stage and sounds like your ds is the same - my two have phases of preferring one then the other. Also if he sees more of one of us, ds goes to the other.

Thanks Muminmillion and musica, he does seem a bit more clingy with me at the moment, perhaps it's because he's back at nursery after the summer break and I've started a new job and finishing later than previous. Who knows what goes through their little minds just that dh is feeling a little bit left out and this was the last straw. We shall see what tomorrow brings. thanks once again

Hope things are better today for you both.

Musica - Your ds has one hell of an imagination at 3 years old. My ds had only just started talking at 2.5 and would never be able to make up stuff like that.

dubaimum - at the moment, dd is behaving like this to Dh, she has just turned 2, and if she is upset she will avoid dh (and ds) and come to me. She won't do what Dh asks, but will immediately do it if I take over without me even asking her.
Dh gets really upset too, but I'm hoping it is just a stage. I seem to remember ds doing this for a short time.

Dh has tried to spend some time with dd on her own, (which is unusual, as he would normally take ds out, and dd would be with me) and I think it has helped.

My ds did not want to spend time with my dh until he was around 3.5 and always wanted me instead. It was very upsetting for all of us - and tiring for me since dd was born when ds was 2.5 so I had 2 clinging to me all the time. But the good news is that things do change and perseverence pays off. My dh got in the habit of either bathing or reading stories at bedtime - putting up with screams of "No - I want Mummy!) Now it's me he doesn't want at bedtime (daddy is less strict than me!) I think the stories thing is a stage they go through. It can be embarassing though!

thanks guys, I think some of the trouble is that dh works split shifts and so is not always around at bedtime, he collects ds from nursery most days and spends a couple of hours with him so at least they have have some time together but dh says that he asks for mummy all the time, what he doesn't see is the other half when I've got ds in the evening he asks for daddy and pretends to speak to him on the phone, I'm sure things will change soon and we will be worrying about something else next week, this site is so good though, it makes me feel that we are not doing it alone,

I think they must all be the same dubaimum. If my 3 or 4yr olds are upset, they always want whoever is not there! Very odd, but comforting to know it is not just us.