Feel like I'm at breaking point

[robin3000]

Feel like I'm at breaking point with my 10 year old DD. Every bedtime without fail she kicks off, screams, shouts, cries wants to ask a millions questions, have the last word and create a drama. If she's told no to anything it's WW3. This is in everyday life too , she HAS to have the last word. She doesn't listen, nothing I say or do calms her down I end up getting so stressed and worked up I shout. I looked online and booked onto a parenting course as I feel like a complete failure, it's also having an affect on my DS4 and his behaviour is starting to turn as well. I am at breaking point, so much so I'm waiting for the GP to call back to discuss my mental health. No reason to this post other than I feel totally alone....

Hi Robin - oh my, how stressful for you. Sounds like in the midst of your DD's bedtimd melodrama you're doing the right things for your family - great instincts! You're getting support at the GP (even someone listening helps right?!) and doing a parenting course. Even at breaking point you're looking out for your family.

Please keep posting as you're not alone. Your DD sounds v difficult. My one suggestion - can anyone else have her overnight to give you a break? A sleepover at a relative'# or even friend's house perhaps. Then when she's back - new regime (make sth up!) hugs and watching x

This can be a hard age esp in the holidays.
Is she getting enough sleep? Too much screen time? What does she enjoy doing?

MY heart really goes out to you. does having routine work?

My 10 year old DS1, (Have 3 DS’s) has anxiety and at bedtime he often uses delay tactics and multiple reasons as to why he can’t go to bed. He hates the dark and has done since being aware of the dark, probably around 12 months. I let him have the curtains open a small gap incense he goes to sleep and a rigid bedtime routine. I start giving a warning for bed an hour before, then half hour, 10 minutes, 5 minutes and 2 minutes. Seems manic, but it works for him as he knows its coming and what he has to do then. Toilet and teeth then bed where I let him read with a book light (he shares a room with DS2) for half an hour and then sleep. The reading helps to calm and relax him. Sometimes he has a wobble, but it works the majority of the time.

Is she ok the rest of the time, or just bedtime. Is she controlling with other things and ask lots of questions? I might be wrong but it sounds like anxiety maybe?