Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Really struggling with toddler - please help!

7 replies

Washpot · 05/08/2019 20:05

Hi all. I’ll start by saying I absolutely lovely the bones of my 2 and a half year old ds but he is bringing me to my knees.

He is a very emotional child. He can be super happy and funny and entertaining when things are going well and I do enjoy his company.

However, days like today are now becoming more the norm and I’m at the end of my rope. If something doesn’t go his way, he flips. He is SO angry and SO aggressive. He shakes and screams at the top of his lungs with this horrible shrill sound and this look of sheer fury in his eyes, he kicks and bites and scratches me sometimes until I’m bruised or bleeding.

I try to avoid confrontation and saying no but sometimes it just isn’t possible. Today I bought him an ice cream and then he decided he wanted a different one. I explained he’d chosen that one and he couldn’t. He lost it. I know it’s hard for him to understand but I really can’t just buy him something else (and even if I wanted to I had no more cash on me).

He hates when things come to an end (such as time at the park) so I try to count down and give him a chance to choose one last thing etc but he won’t leave and runs away, flips out and hits me. I got so many awful looks today at the park as I had to carry him out screaming as my parking ticket was almost running out (and this was with me allowing extra time to get him out).

He throws his food at me and refuses to eat. I’ve tried giving a simple choice (eg carrots or peas?) but whichever choice I offer, as soon as I put it down, he wants the other and he loses it again. I’ve tried not offering a choice and just putting food down but that doesn’t work.

We’ll get ready to go to the park and then he’ll refuse to leave the house. This would be fine if I didn’t also have my dd who needs to have a life.

I try so hard to be a mixture between setting boundaries and also understanding that he’s two and irrational.
I can handle the fact that he finds these things difficult but it’s the extremity of the reaction that bothers me. He can’t just say ‘no’ if you offer him something he doesn’t want- hell hit or scream at you.
He had t witnessed this behaviour that I’m aware of and doesn’t go to nursery with other children etc as he’s with grandparents or me.
What do I do? Do I get firmer with him? Do I ride it out as a phase? How do I help him with his emotions whilst getting him to realise his actions are unacceptable? How do you stop a toddler being aggressive?

My dd was nothing like this. She was a complete breeze in comparison and is a total joy.

Help!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Washpot · 05/08/2019 20:53

Anybody?

OP posts:
Washpot · 05/08/2019 22:59

Guess not 😞

OP posts:
aquarius1994 · 06/08/2019 07:20

So harsh that uve got no replies

Rainatnight · 06/08/2019 08:46

Didn’t want to read and run! Don’t have much tome but just to say DD can a little bit like this and I really try not to ‘avoid confrontation and saying no’. It only makes things worse. He needs to know you have boundaries and mean it.

The Aha Parenting website is good.

Washpot · 06/08/2019 09:52

I reposted on a couple of other areas - still not many replies but some useful advice. I will check out the website. Thank you.

OP posts:
AladdinMum · 06/08/2019 10:15

At this age, it can be a bit tricky - it is the age when they become really confrontational and stubborn (i.e they will say 'no' to many things, even things they do not understand) and when their ideas become much more complex than their ability to express them through the use of gestures and vocalization. I wonder if it's linked to his inability to express himself? how would you say his vocabulary and understanding are? a typical 2.5Y old would have hundreds or words, including pronouns, 3-4 words sentences and regularly use gestures to further expand his ability to communicate. So for example, in the ice cream example, maybe the first ice cream he chose he was not choosing it to eat, but maybe just to show you or even to give it to you - I would expected a typical 2.5Y year old to follow a very simple back-and-forth like this: "Tommy, do you want an ice cream?", "Yes Yes Yes!", "OK, which one do you want?" (you may show him two or three options by saying something like "this one, or this one or this one, which one?"), "this one, this one!" (while him pointing to it), "OK, so you want this one?" (while you point to it"), "yes!!", "OK, let's buy it, and...... there you go".

Washpot · 06/08/2019 11:30

Thank you so much for your replies - some very helpful advice and also insights. I will reply in more detail when I get the chance. He’s currently in s good place so we’re playing ‘emergency to the rescue’ with his cars Smile but I just wanted to acknowledge and say thank you for replies

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page