GF overnight stays

[Kerry197878]

Hi.. issue I would like to share and have views on is ... my son has just 16 and left school recently ... he's unsure which way he wants to go in life in terms of apprencship or college.. he has a GF who is also 16 nearly 17 but same school year .. they have now been together 10 months and she has been staying over quite frequently more so since they left school .. I agreed to one night per week at the weekend. This has turned into 3-5 nights per week ... it's Getting me down I work ful time have a small child and partner ( not the older child's father ) I have a wider family and often loads of visitors which is overbearing sometimes .. I have older kids who have now left home and they had partners that stayed when they were older such as 18 .. but not as much as my 16 year old sons GF ... now my son does not go out much and to me him and his GF live in each other's pockets .. they are good kids but it's like I am feeding this girl .. my son never goes to her house as her dad is very set in his ways .. i mean he don't even go for tea occasionally

I have told my son his GF can stay one night through the week and once night of a weekend ... I think that's fair

Any views or advice would be great :)

I think you need to be firmer. Tell them both..not just your son. Say "One night per week and "anna" is very welcome to stay but not so many as you have been staying. This is a very busy household and I need to keep to my routine."

Go on to say "I don't mind if you choose Friday or Saturday for your sleepover but it must be ONE of those and no more"

Also, are they using contraceptives?

I agree with hennypennyhorror.

Lay it out what your rules are and stick to it. You’re not doing anything wrong by doing this, your just being a responsible parent. Also, do you know how her parents feel about the amount of nights she’s sleeping away from home. Her dad is set in his ways but not about his teenage daughter, sleeping at her boyfriends for a big part of the week?

I agree with talking to them both, so they are both clear on your expectations and understand how you feel.

I'd also ask them both about contraception and talk to him on his own about what his plans are for September.

If he doesn't know, he needs to think it through.