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Submissive child

4 replies

booberella12345678 · 01/08/2019 21:02

My 6 year son has a habit of becoming best friends with very dominant, bold children. My son is very submissive ans allows other children to walk all over him. For example he will let his current best friend push in front of him in line, he will let him snatch toys from him and he will say sorry and take the blame for things he hasnt done. I have directly observed all these things happen. This is a pattern with all his prvious best friends. I am a very submissive person who hates conflict too and I think he has got from me. I am so worried he will be bullied at school when they see his 'weakness'. Unfortunately I was bulllied and it is only in my thirtys that I got so fed up that I am sometimes able to stand up for my self. The other mums of the dominant kids seem uninterested in saying anything to their chidlren - I have however done so and it results in massive tantrums because they arent used to having their behaviour called out. I repeatedly talk to DS about behaviours that are unkind but he seems only concerned about him being kind to others and not expecting others to be kind in return. Does anyone have any advise with this, it makes me so angry and he has already 3 best friends like this. He seems uninterested in the much nicer kids despite my best efforts. I am generally a very angry person inside (very quiet inside) as i have built up a lot of resentment and i really dont want life to be like this for my child

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
booberella12345678 · 02/08/2019 11:09

Anyone?

OP posts:
semiworried · 26/05/2022 20:35

I have a similar worry. Too bad your post is a bit old, probably you are not here anymore, but if you are, I would love to know how has it evolved?
My guess is that there may be some personality trait, but not a problem I hope

booberella12345678 · 27/05/2022 11:04

I found that things improved over time, with the other kids becoming more aware of their behaviour as they matured and the school taught them all how to be considerate/kind etc... My child is much better at standing up for themselves although still fairly quiet and 'submissive' I think he has become better at saying when he wasn't OK with how he is being treated. I think ultimately it has been schooling that helped him. I think this will always be a trait he has and it has some benefits to him (doesn't get into trouble/fights etc), its just avoidin going to the extremes which can led to being a 'doormat'. But he is much better than I was at that age

semiworried · 27/05/2022 16:30

Thanks for the answer :) that gives me hope.
I have observed that sports also help. One of my friend had an extremely shy boy, and then he joined hockey and overcame his shyness.
I am glad school has have a positive impact in your case. School is one of my main future worries, bullies seem to have become more violent lately, from what i hear every so often from the news, it scares me a bit.

I am glad things are working out well for your little one :) <3

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