I don't know how to sleep train my 9m old ds when he's still being fed on demand

[Wing90]

My 9m old ds wakes regularly for feeds. Hesnt ebf while Some of these feeds are simply for soothing others are proper feeds. Hell normally wake every three hours. This is because my hv has declared since he was born that he is under weight and therefore needed to be fed every three hours until he was seven months when she's now decided he just has to be fed on demand. The issue is he is now used to this and will wake every three hours for food regardless and apparently I'm to feed him this way until Hes a year old. But this is making it impossible to teach him to sleep through the night. OH is fed up because I don't want to not listen to HV and then he looses weight drastically even tho my partner me and my dad are all genetically under our bmi by quite a lot. We're tall and light lol so figure Ds is probably as well being as he's already really tall for his age. So my OH thinks I should ignore her and start sleep training I was just wondering if this was the right thing to do or if anyone else has had this dilemma? Tia xx

What does your little ones day consist of? How much solid food is he having? What activities/ outings? Naps in the day?

I find advice like this from a health visitor really unhelpful. You’ve done brilliantly to be feeding at 9 months. Well done!

How is his weaning going? Does he eat well during the day? Is he on three meals? If the answer is yes and he’s drinking water also, you shouldn’t feel nervous about cutting down night feeds.

We sleep trained by youngest at 6m (2,2,2 method), which was a reasonably gently but effective. I was still exclusively bfing at the time, and didn’t feel comfortable stopping night feeds entirely. We got him to cut down by sending DH in to resettle him at every wake up before 1am. At or after 1am I would go in and feed, then sometimes I’d feed again at 4am. We did that for a few weeks, then ditched the 4am feed too. At 10months I made a decision that I was no longer feeding at night! I just didn’t go in (husband resettled at 2/3am), but that was that. It took a week of waking but he quickly got the idea!

Good luck!

I remember a HV telling me my DC should be on the20th centile for weight (he was only on the 9th). I ignored her as he’d always been light and wasn’t losing weight. I’d speak to GP to see if they are worried about the weight, hopefully can put your mind at rest.

I ended up bottle feeding on demand through out the night until about 18 months which I regret - wish I’d stopped earlier. Because he wanted it I gave it I thinking he needed it, but actually in retrospect I don’t think he did.

It was easier than I thought to drop it. A few bad nights then back to waking as much as before.

I don't understand why a baby that should be onto a good few solids by now, would need breastfed every 3 hours?

Surely there's an introduction of 3 meals a day by 9 months so it would be more a morning, afternoon and evening feed now? So she's telling you to feed him every 3 hours instead of getting you to focus on his diet and what foods he's eating?

Milk is their main source of nutrition until a year but from 6 months to 1 year old, there should be a steady increase in food and decline in milk. Being 9 months and half way through the weaning process, I would imagine she should be encouraging you to get to 3 meals a day, reduce breastfeeding slightly and by a year, be on 3 meals, snacks, water and breastmilk for top ups morning and night?

That's just how I look at it. Maybe I'm wrong seeing it that way? Once they're 1, they should gain independence and be eating solid foods as the majority of their diet. If you continue to feed every 3 hours until he's 1, you'll end up with a baby who is 1 and too full up from 8 milk feeds a day to even be interested in food?

I actually think her advice is maybe what's causing the weight loss! She's encouraging you to basically just feed your baby milk 6 months beyond when food should be introduced and to the point (1 year) when it should be their main source of nutrition. As in solid, whole foods

I don't have much faith in health visitors, no offence to any health visitors present.

Cut out the HV but do go to a baby clinic, preferably one with a doctor on board.