Just had a enough!!!

[DepletedandDefeated1]

I have a 9 month old and a 4.5 year old. My 9 month old has just been such a difficult baby from day one. I’ve been through atopic eczema, mastitis twice, Hand foot and mouth disease, general sleep issues, extreme gas issues, refusing bottles, always screaming in the car, not following any sort of routine, sippy cups and not drinking water.
I have just had enough. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but I’m just at the end of my tether. It’s just been one thing after another. No sleep and everything is so fucking hard! Every single milestone is hard. I can’t deal with him anymore to the point that I hate it when he breastfeeds and because he refuses the bottle I’m at my wits end. Just always crying always unpredictable... which is the only predictable thing he does.
Am I alone here? My 4.5 year old was way too easy and just a breeze so this is hitting me even harder. Is this just “normal” behaviour???

I feel for you, it can really be hard. Babies come in all temperaments, some are easy and chilled and others are fussy and never still. However, the atopic eczema, mastitis, hand and foot and some of the other health issues are not really his fault, he will not be enjoying them either. My DS also never really enjoyed the bottle so was breast fed until he was nearly 2.5Y (he loved breast feeding but hated the taste of formula milk, and I tried all the brands), and had never slept a single night through until past 2YRS old (he would wake up at 2AM, 5AM and 7AM every day) - those were difficult years but after he turned 2 a lot improved and now sleeps all night every night, so (I know easier said that done), things will get better :)

Thank you for the words of encouragement. It’s hard to get into a positive mindset about all this when your body is just about ready to give up. But I’ll try to hang in there

I know it's hard, but the thing is, that your baby feels your stress and negative feelings and this makes him stressed as well and just increases his grumpyness and need to be with you. It's a vicious circle!

You have to try to be positive and calm in order to break it! Okay, sleep is really hard, but you could start changing your negative feelings about the health issues - see the poor baby, who has so many troubles, imagine how he feels. That might ease your exhaustion a little bit.
The bottle-refusal is also a good starting point. See it that way: He saves you money and work. And he loves you so much, he wants YOUR milk!