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6 year old not eating due to anxiety

4 replies

stressedmammmma · 07/07/2019 14:03

Really struggling. My 6 year old daughter has been getting anxiety stomach aches and every mealtime is an awful battle with her clutching her stomach in pain.

We've seen a paediatrician and ruled out medical causes so we know it is psychological. She is in otherwise perfect health.

She threw up after eating too much ice cream a couple of months ago and since then she says panics it's going to happen again, so she struggles to eat.

However, it's also coincided with me going through a trial separation from her dad. Although she still sees him daily, she told me that that this is also causing her worries and makes her tummy hurt when she thinks about it. I've been seeing a therapist who has guided me through helping my daughter cope with the separation and I thought I was doing a good job but I guess not!

If she's distracted while she eats (i.e, the TV is on), she is pretty much ok. Unfortunately if I let her do this (which I am reluctant to do), she then takes far too long to eat.

Sadly, in any other scenario - eating at a restaurant, eating with friends, eating at the dinner table, creates the same reaction. Dinner times are the worst but as the weeks go on, it's happening at every mealtimes. I keep being late for work because breakfast is so stressful.

I am absolutely certain this is genuine anxiety and not a behavioral issue (it's not just because she wants to watch TV at dinner time). She's an extremely well behaved child and eating out used to be something she loved. I know she's very upset to be suffering this and she misses enjoying her mealtimes.

It doesn't matter whether it's me eating with her, her dad, or even (on rare occasions) both of us. The outcome is still the same.

For the first time tonight she told me she was nervous to go to her summer club tomorrow (we live overseas and already on school holidays) because the teachers check how much food the kids have eaten and it's making her stomach hurt. I've Whatsapped them tonight to make them aware of the issue but its a sports camp and now I'm terrified of her not eating enough to get through a day of running around in the heat.

She starts big school in a few weeks (different start age here) and I'm absolutely dreading how it's going to impact that. She's been in childcare since I went back to work when she was 1, so it's not that eating in 'school' is anything new to her. Just this anxiety has never been an issue before.

I'm also due to take her on holiday just the two of us in a couple of weeks and at this point I'm ready to lose all the money spent just to not be battling this for 3 meals a day for 2 weeks.

I have got in contact with a child therapist to get her an appointment but if anyone can offer me any advice at all in the meantime, I'd be very grateful, as I'm at my wits end.

OP posts:
timeandtimeagain42 · 07/07/2019 14:51

What sort of weight is she now?
What is making meal times a battle? Sorry that sounds obvious but are you trying hard to make her eat, putting the food on her plate, getting upset or cross with her?

I'd say, as long as she's a decent weight now, then I'd try lifting the pressure on her by serving her favourite meals, on shared dishes in the table, giving her an empty plate and letting her help herself. Don't comment on the food at all and make mealtimes a time when you chat and have a laugh together. Just stop trying to get her to eat for a couple
Of weeks. Maybe do some kids meditation and mindfulness activities with her (outside of meal times) and see what happens to her tummy aches?

Sorry I'm no expert so you might have tried this.

stressedmammmma · 07/07/2019 15:18

Time - she's underweight but that's not related to this...we're a family of tiny people so it's genetic. She was born tiny and stayed that way (same as me).

It does make this situation even more stressful to me because I can't bear to think of her getting littler. Admittedly her eating habits in general have always been a source of stress to me because she's always had a small appetite and eaten soooo slowly but it's not been anything like what we're going through now....just a bit of an annoyance. (Again, we know there's no medical issue here).

She's always taken joy in food though and eats an enormous variety of foods, albeit in small portions and at a snail's pace. This anxiety and stomach pain is brand new since her dad moved out.

(Incidentally, there's never been any talk of dieting or anything like that in the house so there's no influence from that perspective).

I definitely need to try harder in not getting stressed with her. I just worry so much that she isn't going to have enough fuel to get through a busy day!

I'm going to keep trying with what you suggested and making meal times as fun as possible. She openly asks me sometimes to distract her as it stops her tummy hurting.

I will definitely look into the mindfulness stuff. That's something I hadn't thought about and it's a brilliant idea. Will also be giving her an empty plate to serve herself.

Thank you.

OP posts:
timeandtimeagain42 · 07/07/2019 15:29

Try cosmic kids they do some nice child friendly stuff. Bless her, and you! It sounds like a tough time. I hope you find a solution.

stressedmammmma · 07/07/2019 16:58

I will take a look! Thank you :-)

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