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Its MINE!!!!!!

8 replies

CP3 · 17/09/2004 10:26

How do i deal with this behaviour?? How do i teach her to share?

DD is 2.4 and Ds is 1. Shes startd this its mine thing even when she knows it isnt, for example a friend came yesterday with her ds and she knew the babies toys were hers but she still took them insisting they were hers. She also gets protective over me saying my mummy to any other children that come to me.

Its been suggested to me that i dont say this is your toy and this is ds's toy so they both have ownership, what do you think??

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smellymelly · 17/09/2004 10:32

My dd does this, she is 2 on Mon, and I just believe it is part of having a sibling. I may be wrong.

I think it is important that they have their own things, and have some that they share. Ds (4.5) has to deal with this more as he is older and a lot of his toys have gone to dd, but he has his toys too.

Dd goes to nursery (part time) so she learns to share there too. If ds and dd find it hard to share over a toy, then I will just take it away from both of them till things have calmed down.

It seems to be one of those things you say all the time, "share", like "Don't touch", they will get the idea in the end!

anorak · 17/09/2004 10:33

This is entirely normal behaviour at that age and IME takes a few years to teach children not to be so possessive. Like a lot of parenting, my way is to explain that we have to share for various reasons ie toys are more fun if we have someone to play with, there is plenty of time for everyone to have a go, I am still your mummy even if I talk to another child.

And when they are so young distraction with another toy often helps until the wonderful day when the message sinks in! It's one of those things that takes ages and you just have to say what you know is right and keep on and on repeating it for years and years....zzzzz

Prettybird · 17/09/2004 11:06

Since he was 3.5, ds has been telling us "You've got to SHARE". However, he only says that when he wantes something we have - it doesn't apply if it's something HE has got! We still tell him though - and MAKE him share! We do some things "on principle" in order to teach im the concept - for example, insisting that he gives us one or two chocolate buttons or crisps when we give him a bag (of course, we don't REALLY want them !)

sponge · 17/09/2004 11:20

This is completely normal at 2ish and not to do with having a sibling.
My dd was an only child at 2 but still very possessive of me and her toys. Even toys which she never looked at on her own would become extremely important to her if one of her friends was round and wanted to play with them.
At 4 she is now better at sharing but there are still some tantrums when playing with other kids (from them and her).
She's good at sharing crisps, sweets etc though - i.e. things which she can let others have some but not all of.

Twiglett · 17/09/2004 11:22

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jimmychoos · 17/09/2004 11:27

My dd (2) has some toys bought a bit early ie she will grow into them (altho she already plays with them) but they are interesting to ds (4.5). So when he won't share I always remind him of the toys she has that he likes to play with and how sharing is a good thing all round...this seems to work....

roisin · 17/09/2004 20:38

CP3 - I don't know! I have 22 months between my boys, and they are now 5 and 7 yrs old. They have never really had a concept of 'mine' and 'yours', within days of Christmas or birthdays everything is in common ownership. This isn't something we have deliberately set out to do, or actively encouraged though, it's just what they've done.

They have always shared a bedroom, and toys have been in a separate room. But the toy boxes or shelves have never been labelled "ds1's trains or ds2's cars". It certainly makes life easier for us, but I honestly don't know whether this is just something that's part of their character, rather than something you can influence very much.

Hausfrau · 17/09/2004 20:40

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