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My son isn't a good friend - how to help him

4 replies

Thirder · 03/07/2019 21:34

He's 8 and has trouble with friendships.
He's my first so Im not sure how much is normal-is for his age and what isn't.

For example, he was playing with his friend and tells him about his favourite historical topic. He basically talks at his friend about all the history facts even though its obvious his friend isn't listening. He'll go on and on at him.
He also acts silly and babyish in front of his friend. It's like he has trouble coming up with things to do and talk about. I've tried suggesting some topics to discuss sports, after school clubs movies, etc and he does talk to him about that but then he goes back to his history topic.
When he acted like a baby, his friend asked him to stop but he kept doing it. He pretended he was crying and rolling around on the floor. His friend got frustrated and left.
He also seems to have very little empathy. He forgetful, unobservant and slow to apologise. But on the up side he is very imaginative, loves writing stories and reading.
How can I help him to be a better friend and have better two way conversations, and listen to what they like and act on it. He just seems like the most selfish, self centres boy today and it will be a long summer. Sad

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AmaryllisNightAndDay · 04/07/2019 11:48

A couple of things to try. Take a look at the The Unwritten Rules of Friendship book, see if anything looks familiar and try some of the practical solutions and exercises with him. The activities in the chapter on the "Different Drummer" might help him.

Second, have a chat to his school about his social skills and friendships. Finding two-way conversations difficult, talking at people rather than to them, being unobservant, and seeming to lack empathy, are possible signs of a social-communication problem so it may be worth doing a bit of formal investigation. It depends how strong the pattern of behaviour is, but if it's really making it hard for him to keep friendships then it could even be worth getting some professional help for his social skills.

Elmo311 · 04/07/2019 21:57

ASD perhaps ?
I have no idea though. I hope you can help him :)
X

Lara53 · 05/07/2019 19:04

Have a look at social stories about friendships or write your own

Thirder · 05/07/2019 21:54

Thanks, will order the book about rules of friendship. Might help me to explain it better to him.
It's difficult when it comes to naturally to other kids.
Also googling social stories. I've tried that sort of thing before, but maybe a better type of story may get through to him.
He actually made friends at the park today. It seems to be easy to make new friends but maintaining them is a problem for him. Or establishing deeper relationships.
He doesn't seem to tick the ASD boxes other than social skill area, so I don't think it's that. I hope it doesn't linger as an issue as he gets older, life will be difficult.

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