What do I do about a 2.6yr old who is driving me mad at mealtimes!

[growingbagpuss]

He eats lots of foods beautifully. BUT when he is not eating, he'll sit with the plate in front of him and jsut NOT touch it.

If you ask him ifhe's finished he says yes.. the moment you take it away, he screams he wants to eat it. 20 minutes later, it is still there.

We've tried saying we'll ask him 3 times and then it goes, but my DH won't stick to it, so there is little point me doing it.

We've tried telling him its ok if he has finished...but he still does it.

One day he'll eat a favoured food, the next he won't touch it. He'll ask for things and then not eat them.

If we try removing him from the table he screams "I'm sorry, I'm sorry ,I'll eat it" - and then still doesn't.

HELP!!!!!!

You can either be strict and take it away after asking him, or you can set a timer for him and explain that when it goes off his time is up and you will take his plate away. I would do this if it was my dd she is about the same age Jan 05.

Good luck x

Sounds like he is testing you and your partner to me, seeing his limits etc.

I would give him his meal, eat my own, chat away as normal, make no comments about him eating/not eating. clear up the dishes, carry on as normal leaving him their with his food.

If he dosen't get any attention from you concerning him eating/not eating it he is unlikely to bother doing it again.

second idobelieveinfaries. Talk to him and pretend to ignore whether he eats or doesn't. When you've finished clear the plates away and offer him a forkful as you remove his plate. He could be that he does not feel that hungry but still wants to be at the table with you two

agree with Idobelieveinfairies. The more you make an issue out of mealtimes, the more of an issue it will become.

Give him his meal, if he eats it great, but if not let him sit at the table with it in front of him if that's what he wants to do, but once he gets down or say he's finished remove the plate without comment and don't offer anything else. If he screams say to him that he said he was finished so the food is gone now, then walk away.

Once he realizes he's not going to get the attention for his behavior at mealtimes he will hopefully change it.

And tell your dh to back you up, he's not doing him any favours by pandering to him.

I had lots of stressful mealtimes till I did 2 things.

1. Not make them finish their dinner if they've had enough.

2. set a timer like arbs suggested.

There's no talk about 'just another little bit' 5 more spoonfuls, pleeeeese' etc. Just chat and then a warning when there's 5 minutes to go before the plates will be cleared.

If they finish they get an icepop for desert and if they don't they don't get anything to eat until the next meal.

I give small portions and they can have more if they're still hungry and I leave a fair amount of time to finish everything without having to stuff everything in.

the meal gets put in fron t of the kid.

you all eat your meals - whatever the kid had left - bin.

wait until next meal

"wah wahhhhhhhhhhhh" should be met with " tough luck mate you shudda ate it when you could"

Lots of sensible advice - DH and i were talking about it earlier - he just thinks I'm too hard on him Trouble is, I can't leave him there indefinately - DH says just leave him - it doesn't work.

I agree, the tmes we have taken it away we have had instant results the next meals - but if it all goes out the window at w/e then I'm buggered. \

Do you really think he's old enough at 2.6 for a timer?

the other problem I face with DH is that any time I try to introduce anything to deal with a behaviour, he accuses me of treating DS like one of my L.Diss clients, and that I try to bombard him with 'psychobabble" - which I promise I don't!

timer is pants like an exam for fecking eating - just all hae your meal together - we all know a reasonable time - maybe stay at the table chat with your dh for an extra 5 mins then clear the plates away

dunt matter if it goes tits up at weekends kids get used to change

totally with idobelieveinfaries on this one.

DS does this (sometimes). I can't be arsed with fussing about at meal times though.

If he says he hasn't finished and we all have we just go and leave him to it.

What does DS do when he eats out of the house? Does he go to nursery or relatives, and if so is his eating style different in those places? When I worked in nurseries I found it fascinating to see how much even babies like to be like the others. Often a child would feed themselves with a spoon, eating food that they refuse for Mum and just beause all the others are doing it.

He goes through phases wherever he is of simply refusing.

We used the timer, and decided it was a disaaster. We then ignored him totally at lunchtime, as he sat repeating "i don't like it" again and again. He didn't like being igored, and suddenyl wolfed the lot down. Even DH was impressed - so I think with him this might be the way to go!

I'm 8.5month pg -so I think some of this is a reaction to knowing something is afoot.. he's a very bright little toad, and I know tht food is a very good way of controlling your environment and getting attention!

custardo, lol i like your technique. I don't believe in timers or babbling oh go on one more for mummy. If they don't eat their dinner take it away, they'll soon realise they havenn't got the upper hand. lol