My twin boys are 8, nearly 9 now, and are having a tough year in their relationship. I know siblings bicker, but it has gotten to be constant this year. We are very clear about appropriate behaviour, and use logical consequences when they don’t behave but it isn’t helping.
Twin A is very social, verbally advanced and easily makes friends. Twin B is much less so, and despite being in different classes at school, still relies on his brother to make friendships for both of them. B also has a very very short temper and gets easily frustrated and upset. He wants things to be a certain way, wants friends to play a particular game in a particular way and spends a long time explaining his rules. Nobody wants to play like that so they ignore him and do their own thing.
When friends come to our house to play, B wants to join in but quickly gets mad that they won’t do what he wants, or takes offense at something. A tends to deliberately wind up B, since he gives such a huge reaction to the slightest provocation, friends will join in and B ends up screaming at them or stomping off in a huff. I am struggling to figure out how to help him be more mellow, how to stop A from deliberately annoying him, and how to continue having their friends over without needing to constantly mediate disputes. I would love to be able to invite a friend for B to play with while A plays with his own friend, but he literally has no friends that he has made on his own, they are all his brother’s friends. They have been invited to a sleep over later this week and at this point I don’t feel able to let them both go, because I don’t want another parent to have to deal with all the drama. Help?