3.5 year old daughter behaviour

[hopefulfutures]

Hi, I only have the one child so have nothing to compare her behaviour too, but I felt I'm really struggling and not sure if there is a problem or if Im expecting too much and just need to accept this is how toddlers are. My daughter never listens and it seems like she's in her own world when I try to talk to her (unless she is in the mood to tell me about her day etc). She rarely sits still and has no sense of danger, she's always climbing and has had a few near misses but they never seem to frighten her. If she doesn't get her own way her rage is out of control to the point where she's throwing toys at me, trying to bite, hitting, etc and nothing calms her down.

If she does something that could be dangerous and I try to explain this to her but I may as well talk to myself.

She used to be a great sleeper but these days we're lucky if she's in bed and asleep before 9/10pm. I have tried lots of ways to encourage her, but either she has a tantrum and refuses bed or she's up and down the stairs, or we think she's asleep but she gets up to play in her room. People tell me to put my foot down but I am out of ideas!

Is this normal for a toddler or do you think she may need some extra help?

I have 2 DD's one almost 4 and the other 9, I can relate to most of your experiences with one or the other of them.

DD1 (9yrs) at around 3 started getting up and down at bedtime, would stand at the upstairs gate screaming her head off, we'd return her multiple times until she was exhausted. Before that she was a great sleeper, it luckily didn't last for more than a few months, but I know that can seem a lifetime while it's happening.

DD2 is luckily still a great sleeper, but I pretty much have to stand in front of her and call her name 3-4 times to get her attention.
She is much quicker to tantrum than DD1, including just refusing to continue if out and collapse onto the ground.
She also likes the climb and doesn't seem to have much fear.

I've not had the throwing or biting, but I know others that do around the same age.

I think what you are describing is quite typical, although not easy, but it does improve.
Try to encourage the good behaviour and ignore as much as possible the unwanted behaviour (as long as she's safe to ignore).

Sounds pretty much like my dd at that age. You may be glad to hear that she has grown up into a perfectly reasonable and pleasant adult. Calm helps, consistency helps, if she throws things take them away, if she tries to hit you hold her hands calmly. Don't give in, don't lose your temper. Drink lots of tea.

Thanks both. Good to know I'm not alone! It's just so testing at times and hard to know if you're doing the right thing!