3.5 year old behaviour driving me crazy!!

[gruffalomom]

Could anyone recommend any good books and / or resources for especially boisterous and strong willed children?

I have a 3.5 year old who is putting me through the mill! He is bright and affectionate but full of energy and struggles with listening when he gets excited and really rebels when prevented from doing something he wants to do. Its a struggle to keep him from running off when we are out and about and of course i need to be able to keep him safe! It's a bit of a challenge to physically manage him now as he is so strong so I can't easily just pick him up and move him. We've got a reward system and no eating or other issues.

The last couple of weeks have been particularly difficult and it's taking its toll on us both. So just looking for a new approach to try to break the cycle and make life a bit easier!

I've got an older child who is missing out a bit while everyone's focus is on his brother :(

I know some people don't agree with them but I would buy a cheap pair of reins like these (that are attached to a little backpack), and tell him that the next time he runs away he will have to wear the reins, because it's dangerous. he gets a chance to walk with you each time you go out, but if he starts to run away the reins go on for the rest of the time you are outside.

Could you just start holding his hand more? Maybe play a game at the same time.... Like who can spot a red car first or something. I know you probably imagine he won't hold your hand but if you have a chat about something he likes/play a game/reward him, he might.

Reins definitely, and if he won't wear them or hold the hand, he goes straight in the buggy.

Thanks everyone. I've really struggled with reigns with him. He goes berserk and it ends up counter productive. It's alright when I've got no where to go I can ride the tantrum out but on the school run for example I can't sit for half hour and wait for him to finish his wobbler :(

To keep a grip with his hand i would have to break it! He fights me with everything he has.

Obviously I can get him in the buggy with a fight but at 3.5 those days are numbered 🙈

What I really want to do is solve the behaviour. He is 3.5 so he can be reasoned with to an extent. He is strong willed and impulsive and i need some skills to manage that, i dont want to crush his personality but there are times I need his obedience

Afraid I found with my extremely strong-willed dd that putting her where she did not want to be or taking her, by any means possible, to where she did not want to go was the only way to solve the behaviour.

Eventually she learnt that there wasn't much point in tantrumming because in actual fact things ended up the way mummy wanted anyway. And no, it has not crushed her personality, she still has plenty of that.

It wasn't a quick fix, but then I am not so sure there are that many quick fixes.

I have also have a wilful 3.5 year old! Not so much running off but doesn’t like being told what to do so lots of battles. I found the book ‘How to talk so little kids will listen’ really helpful in avoiding constant battles.

Thank you! I've just bought the book x