I'm a first time mom and my son is 9 months 2 weeks old (adjusted). I want to start by saying that I am a worrier and have had chronic anxiety, especially related to health for many years. It is something I am working on, but sometimes I let it get the better of me and lately I am so worried about my son. I would also like to say, that my husband, best friends, sister, parents, his GP and a doctor friend have all said that he is normal and I shouldn’t worry. I even took him to a free autism screening place where he met with an OT, speech path and behavioural therapist when he was 7 months old and they had no concerns. I have to restrain myself from taking him back since ‘things must be noticeable now’ that he is 9 months.
That being said, I worry about mother’s intuition. Since I am prone to anxiety, I guess my intuition is probably not reliable, right?
All in all, I’m just a worried mom that wants the best for her son. If he needs help, I just want to make sure he gets it.
Anyways, here goes. I’m just going to list everything he is doing (pro/cons) together, and ask for advice or questions if I have any....
- he has had decent eye contact since he was a tiny baby. He’s very interested in other people and children and will curiously watch them if any are around. At my play group, he will often grunt, coo or wave arms at other kids to get their attention. And once he even plucked a soother from another baby’s mouth. I don’t find he makes a lot of eye contact with me close up. If I am holding him he is more interested in my mouth or my hair and squirms in all directions to see what is around him. I thought ‘babies love faces’,but this doesn’t really seem to be true with him.
Joint attention. Argh. I guess I don’t understand what to expect from him at this age. He occasionally shows me toys, but he plays on his own quite well. He doesn’t really try to draw my attention to anything with his eyes ( look at toy, look at me, etc.). If he does something he is really happy with he will look up at me and smile like he is proud, but he doesn’t do this a lot. Often times when he wants something he just screams. There is no gesturing there really. Like if he wants more food - screams. There is no looking at the food pouch or spoon and back to me. If he wants my help he will turn to me and grab my arms or tap me...is this typical?
During his bath tonight he didn’t try to engage me much. Maybe looked up at me once or twice. When I show him new toys he doesn’t look up at me to let me know he is interested. He likes to suck on the facecloth too.
- he likes toys that spin. I mean, babies like this sort of thing right? I feel like all toys have spiny parts.....in any case if there is something spiny he goes for that first. He has this toy snail that moves around on wheels when you push a button and he will turn it over and grab the wheels so that they vibrate and click and I have never seen him push a car appropriately. He seems to like shaking everything or fiddling things around on the floor to see them move.
He can hold his own bottle and drink from a sippy cup and straw. He can also use a spoon if I hand it to him. However once he’s done taking a drink, etc. He will throw the spoon or roll his bottle around like a toy. He also likes to shake his bottle and watch the liquid move. He tastes everything we give him but does make a lot of faces and gag. He won’t eat Cheerios, or anything little like that....just picks it up and throws it, or spits it out if I put it in his mouth.
He likes textures and scratches everything. He also rubs his feet repetitively on the carpet. He does a lot of repetitive gestures like wrenching his wrists.....he does this with his toys or if he points his arm at something he is interested in. He has never finger pointed, clapped, banged two toys together or waved.
He likes peekaboo, but has yet to initiate. If I put a blanket on his head he knows to pull it off. And if I put a blanket on my head, he knows to pull it off there too.
If I say ‘where’s daddy’ or my husband does the same for me, he will look for us in the room and make eye contact when he finds us.
He only occasionally smiles when smiled at and usually it’s in response to something funny I am doing or a funny voice or something. That smile test where they say to break into a smile and your baby should smile back, he fails every time. He smiles at my husband or I when we come in the room or at the nanny when she arrives, so I guess he has a social smile it’s just hard work to get one.
I point at a lot of things and I think he follows most of the time. I worry he is just looking at my finger, but if I take my hand away I’d say 50% of the time he’s still looking at what I pointed at. I don’t think he follows gaze at all.
His name response is pretty good I think. If I’m across the room or come into the room and say his name he looks up. If I am next to him or he is really focused on something, he ignores me.
He isn’t really interested in mirrors. He was briefly when he was younger, but not so much now. He seems to prefer small mirrors on toys. If I hold him up to a large mirror he will look at himself for maybe 5 seconds and I’ve seem him touch the mirror, but whether that’s in response to his reflection, I’m not convinced.
Lately, he is very attached to me. No matter who is holding him, if he sees me he’s reaching his arms out to me. He will cry when I leave him with the nanny and will cry when I return until I hold him. I wouldn’t say that he reaches his arms up to me to be picked up unless someone is holding him. If I say ‘up’ he will only partially raise his arms.
He is a great sleeper and has been that way since birth.
He’s pretty chatty. Lately he does a lot of moaning and grunting as opposed to babbling, but will do a series of dadadadas or ssssssss noises when I’m a good mood. I tell myself it’s teething and not a verbal stun of some sort. Sigh.
He laughs if my husband and I get into an argument. If I cry he will stop what he is doing and look at me. Once he even extended his hand, but my head was down and it’s possible he wanted to pull my hair....
I am guilty of comparing him to other babies and always feel like he is less engaged and smiley with me than my friend’s babies are with them. My husband thinks that’s ridiculous, but I spend more time with him than anyone, so I sometimes feel upset that I am not taken seriously.
Sorry for the drawn out post and TIA.