Worried about eye contact in 20 week old

[RoxanneMur]

I was wondering if anyone could please give me their experience with eye contact.

I have a 20 week old son and he gives eye contact when I am holding him in the position of feeding him a bottle, if he is in his rocker, on the change table, etc. mainly while lying on his back. However, he will not give me eye contact when I am holding him sitting on my lap facing me. He will look to the left or right and if I put my face in front of his he will look the other way as if to dodge me.

From your experience, is this what they mean when they say lack of eye contact? Does it mean that they try to avoid eye contact in all positions or can it be only in one position and still qualify? Has anyone ever experienced this? He also will watch anyone and everyone when they are moving around the room and doesn't take his eyes off them. He follows 3 way conversations and will look at the person who is talking.

For those of you with experience with autism what else would be red flags at this age besides just the eye contact? He has a twin sister and her eye contact is fabulous so maybe he is just looking bad compared to her? I am really worried about him.

Has anyone's child been quite poor with eye contact as an infant and not turn out to be diagnosed on the spectrum?

Thanks so much for your help! I really appreciate your input.

My DS did this at the same age -- I remember a big thread on it on another board (where a lot of mothers chimed in with "yes, my DC does/did this too") and a qualified professional who happened to be a member said (disclaimer: this is my memory of what she said two years later so I could have some details wrong) that it's not uncommon, particularly in premature babies, and can last up to six months although in the majority of babies it's gone by four months. So long as you are getting eye contact the rest of the time (which in your case you are) then there's not normally anything to worry about. The theory is that it's a way for the baby to cut down on stimulation.

By 6 months DS was making eye contact perfectly even right up close. He's 2.5 now so I suppose too early to say absolutely for sure that he's not on the autistic spectrum, but he shows no signs of it whatsoever -- loads of imaginative play (we have to stop about a dozen times on the way home from nursery so that he can "buy" things at the "shops" (aka trees) on the way, complete with careful opening and closing of doors and counting out the right money) and he's very empathetic.

Hi, your son is very young, I would not be concerned about autism at this age.

We had major worries about our DS2, who is 8 months old now. He was not smiling at 3 months, was not tracking objects, and did not seem to respond at all to visual stimuli.

He was referred to a neurologist and opthalmologist, and last week, and the grand old age of 8 months, we pretty much got the all -clear (he is slightly delayed tracking objects, but we can work on that!).

He smiles all the time now, and makes great eye contact a fair amount of the time.

The up-shot of which is, sure when he was younger we did have major worries about him (and it did impact on our relationship with him), but we think he is coming good now.

I am sure that your DS is absolutely fine, but if you are worried, your HV is probably the best person to raise your concerns with at this age.

Sorry should have read at the end "at this STAGE".

All the best,

Hi,

Echo what others have said , don't think that this is anything to worry about. Having said that it is exactly what I worried about with dd2 - she had good eye contact lying down, or in a chair but did not look at me face to face when on my knee or even when I was feeding her. Agree may be something babies do to prevent overstimulation.
She is now a boistrous three year old and definitely not on the autistic spectrum.
As mm2bys says if you are worried speak to your HV I know that they come in for a lot of flack , but mine was lovely and very knowledgable.
HTH

Thank you so much for your input. It is so hard not to worry when his sister is so responsive when it comes to looking at faces. I guess I have to try to remember that they are just brother and sister and will do things differently.

I still worry about his eye contact but will see if he improves over the next few months.

barbapapa -- what age did your daughter start giving you the eye contact up close where you were not worried as much?

Thanks again for both of your replies. If anyone else has any input it would be appreciated as well.

Regards,
Roxanne

Roxanne,

Tbh she still has a habit of averting her eyes if I come up very close - for instance for a kiss though she can give me close up eye contact. I have asked her why she averts her eyes - she says because she can't see me that close too and doesn't like it !

But looking at me when on my knee and facing me happened around 15 months - prior to that she would sometimes look at me when on my knee but always preferred to be on my knee looking out and gave good eye contact as long as she was some distance from me.(ie sitting on the floor) I was very depressed after dd2 was born - (postnatal and my mum died)and was worried enough to take dd2 to a paed. He didn't think it was anything and as she became more and more social my worries lessened .

I hope that helps. I do think children are very different when it comes to eye contact at that age - my dd1 was very in your face as a baby and just very different to dd2. But like you I compared dd2 to her sister . However , dd2 has turned into a real social butterfly - dd1 is much more reserved!

OP, I know this post was created a long time ago but can you update?

I am currently going through this exact same thing with my little one who is 3 months old

@Bubbs2020 - Entirely normal behaviour. It’s a babies way of preventing overstimulation. A face is incredibly stimulating to look at, especially intense eye contact. They just can’t cope with that amount of interaction at 3 months. From your other posts it sounds like your one is quite sensitive and therefore avoiding eye contact is not a surprise at all x

@JenWilson19 Hello and Thank you for responding. I totally understand that it can be due to over stimulation but he only really makes 'proper' eye contact when laying on his back. When he's sat on my lap he literally will look everywhere and anywhere other than my face. I guess it's probably not interesting enough. Lol. Just hoping with time it will get better.

@Bubbs2020 hi can you update please?

How is ur baby now mam is she giving good eye contact

Any updates?????

@RoxanneMur any updates??

@mthrofflwr this thread is from 14.5 years ago...(I'm on it discussing DS and he turns eighteen at the weekend!)

I know this is an old post but I was wondering if you had an update. My son doesn’t make a lot of eye contact and it’s really concerning me. Thanks!

I should maybe update this comment a bit to say that then-2.5yo DS is now 18yo and has recently received an autism diagnosis, so...