My daughter is 8. She has always been strong willed shall we say. She us very well behaved at school and got other people. School say she makes a lovely role model, works hard, is kind, etc.
At home, things can be quite different. Take tonight for example. When we got in the car I told her when we got home it was straight into the bath. 'Ok' she says. No problem. We get home and she goes straight to the garden. I ran her bath and called her from the house. She bouncing kn the trampoline. 'No' is her response. I repeat myself several times and get the same reply. Its not even a naughty no, just casual and with a tone of 'you cant do anything about it'. I went down to the trampoline and told her I wouldn't be inviting her friend over to play. Nothing, she doesn't care. I ask her again to come in for a bath. 'No'. She eventually goes in because her brother does, but still refuses to get in the bath. So I tried to ignore her and took her brother to read with, but she comes in. I ask her to go to her own room but she refuses. Eventually it turns out the way it always does... she turns it around screaming and shouting, calling me s bully, slamming the door.
This is happening at least once a week. She often wont do as shes told which makes things so difficult. As things escalate she turns to screaming and shouting as though she doesn't know how to handle her feelings. Often it then turns to her crying that shes hurt herself or that shes not loved. She is and she is told do so often. We try to praise her lots. She hits her dad and he just let's it go. She knows not to hit me but will imply or slyly move to try it.
I just don't know what to do. I'm do frightened that if I cant regain control with her that in 4 years or so she is going to be a very unruly teenager.
My husband and I have not had a great relationship over the last few years, theres little team work and we gave not demonstrated how to resolve a disagreement.
Dont get me wrong, she can be lovely, helpful and nice company. But if truth be told, I find my son so much easier to work with. She tries to make him naughty and I've noticed they 'gang up' on me. Sometimes I font want him with her. That sounds such a horrible thing to say.
I have thought about parenting classes, a counsellor, family counselling, gp but I just dont know who to turn to for advise. Also because she good outside the home i dont really have anyone else backing it up. I have told my parents who have seen she can be a bit stroppy and sulky but never would she let them see the full thing. Any advise would be gratefully received. Thanks