How do you get through the day?

[londonmummy2019]

I'm just posting to see how everyone with a 6 to 12 month old gets through the day....what do you do?

I've been feeling lately as my DD gets more active ... she's now 9 months....we do the same thing everyday and not much else! I feel like I'm letting her down...I try to go out each day for a walk or to the shops or other days go to the local park and feed the ducks....but then sometimes it's every third day. The rest is spent at home. I play with her a lot and we eat in the garden when it's nice.

I suppose I've been judging myself on what other people do with their little ones. I've been looking at their "hiking" and holidays to Greece , play dates and all sorts on Instagram and feeling down.

I'm not harming DD am I ? Socially? I don't have family close by and my husband works a lot so she only really has me during the day.

Sorry for the long waffle xx

Do you have library near by? Ours is great, has a huge kids area and runs free baby and kids groups at least three days a week.

My DS is 18 months now and I still take him loads. We do Rhyme Time and Story Time, I also used to take him to the under 1yr play too. He loves it and I got to meet some mum friends and have a bit of an adult chat. I made some nice friends and so has DS. When he was smaller we'd often go for coffee together afterwards, now it's park play dates so they can run about.

We also did a few paid classes which DS loved and got me out of the house but I don't think DS would know the difference.

DS adores feeding the ducks and could quite happily sit on the grass playing with a stick or whatever for a good while now, I don't think going as far as Greece is needed. The thing that strikes me most now is its really just simple things that amaze babies and toddlers, it's all new to them. We often go to Pets at Home on the pretense of buying cat food just to look at the rabbits and fish or walk up past the new housing estate to wave at the diggers and dumper trucks

Those are really lovely suggestions. I'm going to try those, thank you.

I've looked at a few things at the library- they have a story time song event coming up which I'm going to take DD to.

I'm going to look at a mums group too. Just bit a nervous they will all know each other already- I suppose I've just got to get on with it! I don't know why I feel nervous- I had a very busy job meeting and dealing with people if all backgrounds each day...don't know why I've become so nervous!!

Deffinately try the library, everyone has been lovely here. It's really easy to get chatting as you've all got your little ones in common and if you click with someone itll just build from there. I'm friends with all sorts of different people now that I wouldn't have ordinarily met before DS, it's great. I do have to make an effort to remember names though as tend to know all about the kids and forget the parents name!

It's much easier before the toddling starts, now I'm lucky if I get to sit at all in the classes as DS is non stop but nobody cares.

Have fun!

Don't worry about what people put on insta, it's never the whole story! If it's making you feel down, the best thing to do would be to delete your account, social media puts far too much pressure on people. If you want to take her away, by all means discuss it with your husband (mine works a lot too and family time is always good), but don't feel like you need to do anything special! We went away for a long weekend to an airbnb that was just 1.5hrs away.

My days with my 8mo DS pass in a blur of feeding and naps... there's a window between 11-1 and 3-5 where I can get out and about. I have paid classes for him 2 days a week and a class for me 1 day a week (slimming world). The other days we usually have some sort of chore (supermarket, take the car to the garage - ongoing saga, grr) or we just chill at home. I also have loads of friends with similar age kids, so I tend to set up a 'playdate' every week. Sometimes I put him in the pram and we have an hour long walk, or go for a swim.

It's intimidating meeting new people, but I've always found mums easy to chat to! See what's available in your local area - if you don't like something, you don't have to keep going.

I went back to work!! Honestly though Instagram and Facebook show "perfect" mums and families but it's all utter rubbish, reality is they're the same for us.
Also agree with baby groups at the library. We also have a local soft play set up in a village hall twice a week which is good. On a serious note going back to work and sending DS to nursery has made me and him much happier.

Thanks so much.

What sort of paid classes out of interest seeinginscotland?

I'm going to go to a playgroup on Monday that's just over in next village! So shall see how that goes.

I've stop comparing myself to what friends are doing on Instagram.

I just feel sometimes so lonely and that I'm the only mum feeling like this.

I think it sounds like you’re doing loadsa fun stuff for her! It does get hard to try and think of things to entertain them! If there’s just you two during the day have you looked to see if there’s any play groups near you for her to interact with other kids? My LO loves socialising so even just going to soft play is nice to take up an hour or so x

I do baby sensory and turtle tots, I love them both! Other people do sing and sign, baby gymnastics, baby yoga. Baby opera did not get good reviews, but if that's your bag it sounds like a laugh! Rhyme time at the library is good. If you're in/near London, I'm assuming you'll have a lot more choice than me, I have to drive for half an hour to get to most things.

If you're feeling lonely, it's a great place to meet people! It's nerve wracking at first, but strike up a conversation with people and maybe get a coffee after. It happens naturally usually - both my classes finish at lunchtime, so people need to feed their baby and go to the attached cafes. I just shamelessly invite myself to sit at a table with people, you'll find people want to chat as much as you do! I'm now starting to make fb friends with the mums there. It helps having people to message during the day (you can always send me a PM if you want to chat!).

There is no way a walk in the park is going to be less interesting or stimulating to a small child than a trip to Greece.

And doing the same thing isn't a bad thing either: it stimulates their powers of observation. Look, now there's a pretty flower in the park, now there's a duck with a blue head! As their imagination grows you can have pretend adventures.

But I found mum's groups very helpful, to give me a bit of social time, and to get dc used to other children (they won't actually be playing with each other for a while yet), and on a more longterm basis, to build a base of familiar faces for years to come. It did make starting school a lot less scary that we already knew most of the families in the neighbourhood.

Thank you.
I really appreciate all the reply's. I'm going to a mums group next week . And I'm not going to overthink it! Just going to go and if I like it - fab!

I agree it can get lonely...and everyone feels like that at some point; as much as we love our babies they’re not the most stimulating people to spend a day with!

Also it’s definitely a good idea to avoid Instagram, that’s not an accurate representation.....how many people post a photo of themselves scrolling through Facebook while they’re feeding their baby? And yet we’ve all done that! Tiny babies aren’t going to get huge amounts more from amazing holidays than they are everyday with you, quality time is what matters, not expensive or impressive stuff.

I’d echo the library too, always nice free groups there.
I’ve paid for baby massage/baby sensory/sing and sign groups too at different points.
I’m a member of a local park (national trust style), and go there a lot for walks round the lake or a cake and coffee with baby (rice cakes for him!).
Chores that get you out are also good, I do something most days as another poster said....doctors, food shop, garden centre etc.
Local parks with swings are good for little ones too, or sand pits to crawl in (Hawkeye for eating sand though!)
Picnic in the park if it’s sunny.
Feeding the ducks.
Local children’s centres are also great, mine does a toy library for borrowing new toys, and has a free sensory room. (Other people totally get the boredom thing....I rang my children’s centre today to book the sensory room for tomorrow as it’s forecast to be super rainy, and the lady on the phone said “ahh yes, do you just need to fill a bit of time?” 😂)

Don’t feel like you have to get her out and about every day, if you’re happy playing at home then that’s great; you are her entire universe and she loves spending time with you more than anything else, don’t devalue that!