Anxious 7 year old

[MrsReacher85]

I’m becoming really worried about my 7 year old DS. He’s always been a sensitive kid, a bit of a worrier and over thinker. He’s never been happy when I leave him, so either at nursery, school, wherever. He’s always been fine a few minutes after I’ve gone.

Lately though, he’s been getting worse. Really upset when I leave, wailing crying and holding onto me. He tells me that he hates it when I leave, but can’t tell me anything he’s worried about other than that.

I think at this point it’s turning into a separation anxiety issue and I’m making a doctors appointment tomorrow. Does anyone have any advice or insight in the meantime? I’m convinced that I must be doing everything wrong for it to have got this much worse.

Bless him.

Is this just at school or when you leave him anywhere? And does he settle quickly or does it continue?

Does he have any additional needs?

How are the school dealing with it?

I very much doubt it's anything you're doing wrong. The only thing I would say is try not too worry, because if you're anxious to leave him (because you know he will cry) he'll pick up on it and be more anxious, and then you'll be more anxious....vicious circle!

No additional needs. It happens everywhere now. It used to only be certain times but it’s got worse.

School have been great, he settles really quickly once he’s in so they’re not overly worried about it. Their family person (no clue what her actual job title is) is going to spend some time with him and see if she can help.

Thank you for replying!

How do you leave him when you do have to? Do you sneak out? Do you say "it's time for mummy to go now and I'll be back to pick you up at....?" Have there been any changes at home? Does he follow you around at home? My dd doesn't like to leave me because she is very controlling. She will sometimes try to tell me what to do while she's in school and she doesn't like it when I'm with other people. That is getting less of an issue and now she mostly heads off just fine in the morning.

I never sneak off, he always knows where I’m going and when I’ll be back. The weekday routine hasn’t changed in almost a year, same things each day, same person doing the pick up or drop off.

He doesn’t usually follow me around at home, but he does like to stay close to me. If I sit down, he’ll be right next to me.

Helen Kennerley's book "Overcoming Anxiety" helped me help my DS when he went through an anxious phase at the end of Y4.

Thank you, I’ll have a look for that