Terrible twos

[CMB11]

My little fiery red head has had tantrums for almost a year, everyone I've spoken to and confined in have said it's just his age an it will pass. Iv noticed his behaviour has got a lot worse the last 3-4 months. He hits me, throws things at me, refuses to do everything I ask him to do! I punish him by taking his favourite toys off him an putting him in his bed room for 20 mins to calm down an have time out. But it doesn't seem to bother him at all! We do a lot together an go to toddler groups, an soft play. But it's getting to the point we're I'm dreading taking him because of his behaviour. It's starting to make me feel quite anxious, an like I don't have control over him 😔 I use to love our days out an I feel awful saying that I dread taking him anywhere cuz he's my pride an joy! Any suggestions would be much appreciated

It sounds like you're doing all the right things. Hang in there, it really is an age thing. My oldest daughter was like this between 1.5 and 2.5, then things improved noticeably. I'm not sure how effective punishments are at this age, it might be more effective to just sit with him when he's having a tantrum (to a point - if he's being violent or you are out in public by all means scoop him up and take him away!)

Terrible twos tend to come about because it is around two years old when a toddler starts having more complex thoughts, much more complex than their ability to communicate them effectively through gestures and limited speech. Imagine, they have an exciting idea, they try to communicate with the parent, the parent does not understand so is unable to reciprocate, toddler gets frustrated. Not sure if 'time out' would be effective as they probability don't fully grasp the idea of cause and effect so probably have little idea of why you put them into a room for 20 mins by themselves. How is his communication? is he communicating effectively to meet his needs and to share enjoyment with you? (and by communication I don't mean speech as speech at this age is a tiny part of their communication)

I'm having the same issues and feel for you but 20 mins is a hell of a long time!

Like pp said they can't communicate as they would like so get frustrated.

I use time out but only for 2 mins and where she can see me pottering around but I ignore her. I explained the concept of time out to her and I think she gets is as she puts her dolls in time out when they smack her! 😂 I also 'explain' to her dolls what they've done wrong when she wants to put them in time out and wait for the dolls to say sorry! Madness I know but seems to help her get it! 😂 They need to understand otherwise it's pointless.

I also try distraction but I get that sometimes you need them to get their shoes on and out of the house so I'll just force her (easier said than done!).

Also, pick your battles, my DD pretty much wears what she wants (weather suitable) I'm not arguing over stuff like that!

It's not easy, I've just been away with mine for four days alone... I need wine, and lots of it! 🤣

I feel you. My boy just turned 2 and omg he is suddenly difficult. He won't go to bed, refuses to eat, tantrums in public. I agree with pp that 20 mins is a very long time. We do 2 mins and that is long enough and very effective. He hates time out so generally the threat is enough to stop him. As pp has said, time out is behind stair gate where I can see him and ignore him. I am hoping it gets easier too!