Anxious mum

[Rachel1210]

I’m such an anxious mum and I can’t shake it off...my LO is almost 7 mo and I love him so much but every step of motherhood has been stressful. He was a very unsettled baby with bad colic, he was a poor feeder who was diagnosed with reflux and tounge tie. He’s also a very bad sleeper. We’re now weaning and he hates everything I give him. I just feel like every chapter is so hard and he just doesn’t take to any stage well - each stage is a struggle - he’s a bad eater and bad sleeper and very very hyper. I find myself getting so down that he just doesn’t get it! I have to give so much time and patience to everything. Nothing has come easy to him. It will get easier won’t it? I keep reminding myself that when he’s ready he’ll eat and when he’s ready he’ll sleep - but I just never imagined I’d have a baby who was such a poor sleeper and eater as neither me or my husband are like that. Finding it all hard and disheartening...

I'm so sorry you're struggling Rachel. As a fellow anxious mum myself, I can really sympathise. If you're struggling, please don't feel afraid to go to your doctor and say you might need some help. They can refer you for CBT, which is what I'm currently waiting for.

You're an excellent mum and you will get there. Your baby is still so young too and becoming a parent is an enormous life change.

Thanks Kittypillar. I just feel like every step is hard. Other mums may have a bad sleeper but a greater eater or vice versa - but with me my baby doesn’t seem to take well to anything and I have to put so much time and stress into every stage...

Honestly, we've been terrible at everything. Actually no - he was born an amazing night sleeper but that one bonus has gone to pot now. My son had tongue tie, torticollis, couldn't latch (needed nipple shields for 4 months), didn't nap for around the first 2 months of his life and still hard to settle if not perfectly tired, is in physio for his torticollis leaving him with a side preference, seeing a gastro for suspected multiple allergies (I think he's allergic to food through my breastmilk), weaning is going a bit rubbishly and now he's just started to wake up every hour or two in the night. Oh Yeh and he whinges pretty much all day long.

So believe me when I say you are not alone! I, like you, put a lot of time energy and stress into everything. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and read all the baby books etc... which were not at all helpful. If parenting was an exam I think I'd have failed by now!! No family around to help.out either. Still, he's generally a happy little chap when he's not whinging, got bags of energy, and I figure they'll get easier as they get older.... I really really hope!

@Rachel1210 congratulations on your beautiful baby, an accomplishment on its own. And for getting to 7 months. At the end of the day you make it to the next one, and the next one. That's what you need to keep reminding yourself and savouring the moments you do enjoy. Whenever he smiles or enjoys you holding him / playing with him are the thoughts and feelings you need to hold on to. He eats and he sleeps eventually and that's the positive side, the times he's a grumpy baby won't last forever. I have a very fussy 4 month old who was a dream... until 4 weeks....then devil child syndrome hit and I often feel like everything I do is wrong. We don't go anywhere, we only leave the house to see my mum or an appointment- I dread taking him anywhere as when he wakes for a feed it's 0-100 within seconds and he has little tolerance for anything for very long. I wanted to start this post at 3:30 but he's only just finally given into a nap... half an hour before being due a feed where it'll start all over! 😩he looks for me when he hears my voice and smiles like I'm his most favourite person in the world when anyone else is holding him, or if he's in a chair etc but fidgets kicks and whinges when I actually hold him most of the time. But he's his own person and I know he loves me he just doesn't understand what we're doing for them yet. But we'll be sure to remind them when they're old enough 👀👍you're not a bad mum, any mum doing her best and looking after their child is a fantastic mum. I think us mums worrying so much is a credit really as it shows we care! It's harder than we ever thought and far from the pampers adds! Ignore other mums social media posts, no one posts the photos where they're a mess with bed hair still at 3pm with a screaming child. Just keep doing what you can and enjoy motherhood whenever you can. It'll be worth it as they get older I'm sure. You never see an adult rolling around on the floor screaming for a bottle because they just never got the hang of eating or sleeping, it'll come eventually! 🤞🏻