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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3 yr BOY and still NO Potty /Toilet

9 replies

S1nhead77 · 07/05/2019 15:04

My Son was 3 in april and seems no nearer to being toilet trained than he was 4 months ago (i just feel like he is never going to crack this one)
i HAVE TRIED
Potty time (morning and evening) activities whilst on the potty (colouring in books / story time, even a favorite tv programme)
Reward charts with treats and stickers

Tried moving on to the toilet option
I have a seat to go over loo and a step
i got him big boy pants and even tried some bribery.
so far he just does not seem interested at all. he would rather not have whatever i offer and just keep going to the toilet in his nappy.

I have tried no nappy at home and he just waiting for me to go to the kichen sink and i had wee puddled all over my floor. on the second attempt he did no2 it on the floor and showed me after. i did explain to him at the time and showed him the correct place for this is down the toilet and showed him.

to say I am stressed is an understatement and my partner dont help apart from highlighting the things i am doing sooooo wrong as a first time mother.

Any advice would be muchly appriciated

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sleepismysuperpower1 · 07/05/2019 16:57

i would try taking him to the toilet every hour, even if he insists he doesn't need to go, and tell him that he needs to try and do something. if he does a wee, he gets a smartie, a poo gets 2 smarties, and a ring of the bell (search hand bell on amazon). only let him ring the bell when he was done a poo, not before and not after, so it makes it special. all the best x

BeeMyBaby · 08/05/2019 05:10

How long did you do nappy free time for. It took at least till day 2 with my son till there were any successes, I think it's normal to be loads of accidents on day 1, and even then, only a couple of successes on day 2, and then mostly/all successes on day 3 but then only moving on to trousers etc at day 4. Yes there tends to be a lot of cleaning up but I found a day or two of mess was so much better than months of nappies. If you switch between nappies and pants it can be very very confusing for them.

Nade1977 · 08/05/2019 09:24

I have never heard the bell option i am going to try it thank you

I tried the NO nappy for 2 days maybe i need to try it again for longer but as i work full time it is extremely difficult i have asked the nursery he is in to assist me but obviously he cant be walking around with no nappy when hes there.

AladdinMum · 08/05/2019 10:51

Is he actually communicating with you that he needs to go? .... consensus tends to say that potty training will fail if it's forced, the child must communicate first that he needs to go or that he has just gone in his nappy, he needs to understand that something has just happened and he needs to act (from around 2/2.5 years old children tend to communicate this by for example fanning their hand in front of their nose as saying that it's smelly, or by tapping their bum, some pair this gesture with vocalisation) It starts with number 2's as the child gets a feeling that he needs to go way before he actually goes, while number 1s tend to come with little warning - even after being potty trained it is quite normal for them to wet themselves. I would concentrate first on number 2s only to simplify the process especially if the child is struggling to understand the process.

Nade1977 · 08/05/2019 15:17

He is more than capable of communicating and he also knows when he wants to go no2s, at first it was very obvious when he was having a number 2 (he would hide under the table or behind a door, but now he seems to have just mastered no change actions/Play so i do not even know he is doing it anymore until its done.
i ask him regular if he needs to use potty or toilet yet but he just keeps telling me No. Even once hes done it he tells me he hasnt

AladdinMum · 08/05/2019 23:01

I agree that it is a little bit odd that he even tells you no after he has done it, it shows that he either does not understand or maybe scared/nervous about it. Him hiding under a table or behind a door when he was younger (which is very typical behaviour at that age) while you trying to read his body language to figure out when he needs to go is not him communicating it to you...

BeeMyBaby · 09/05/2019 04:27

I was working full time when I potty trained my 3dc, I just had to use holiday time to crack it (1st at Christmas, 2nd during summer, 3rd at Easter), I think most people time it around annual leave. It's not the most fun thing to do during annual leave but it depends how much you want to crack it I suppose.
And I slightly disagree with aladins mum about them having to communicate with you that they've done it prior to training, although obviously they do need to be able to communicate in some way once training commences.
And lastly, make sure you use over the top praise (cheering, clapping) for every success and just try to ignore any fails, quietly clean it up without telling him off, just kindly explain and say he can try again next time to make the experience as positive as possible for them.

Nade1977 · 09/05/2019 11:27

AladdinMum
He has on one occasion verbally told me he needed the potty (not that he actually did anything in it) so he is very capable of communicating.
i dont feel he is scared or nervous about it although he is going through the not listening stage so maybe he doesnt understand fully what is being asked of him.

Nade1977 · 09/05/2019 11:29

Thank you for all comments/ advice given.

Annual Leave is now booked for mid may, wish me Luck.

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