only children (toddler age) and imaginative play

[prefernot]

Just curious here to hear other people's experiences. Dd is 23 months and an only child. She's very chatty and imaginative and has an amazing memory. For the past few months she's been getting more and more into 'imaginative play' with toys and also with her fingers (she makes her index and middle finger into 'legs' and it's a little person). I'm really glad she's doing this and it's adorable but I'm not sure about my role in it all. She will sometimes play like this on her own but she is getting increasingly frustrated if i can't join in with her. And she's also losing interest in other kinds of play. For instance if I take her to the playground she doesn't want to swing or slide at all now, just to find a quiet corner with some leaves and for the two of us to make a pretend picnic with them, or turn them into a bed for her toy. Again, none of this is a real worry of mine I'm just wondering if this is a phase / an indication of her character / a sign that she's lonely for playmates (she doesn't go to nursery or anything yet but I do take her to a few baby groups and there's some kids she knows in the park though she's slightly embarrassingly not interested in other kids!) or what?

The only suggestion I can think of is for you to try and create some games with her that the both of you can do. My dd is 21 months, only child. She's always been behind with development stages, and has only picked up imaginative play the last couple of months, so the games we play are really basic and not exactly over thrilling, except for dd of course. Like everytime we see or play with dd's ducks, we both take it in terms to say quack. And she has a little car that she now associates with woowoo (siren of an ambulance) and Ill make the noise, push it across the room and she'll go chasing after it, make the man that sits in it fall out, bring them to me so I can put it back together and repeat it all over again. Not great experiences to share but hopefully other mums will have. Ill also be noting on what other mums have done for inspiration

Absolutely no idea what it all means prefernot, but as a frequently bored mum of a 2.5yr old who will swing ALL DAY if I let her, I feel a little envious! As a wild guess I'd think it might be more an indication of her character than any of your other suggestions. I think it is very common for children under 3 to be pretty uninterested in playing with other kids, BTW, but the presence of siblings / attendance at regular daycare probably make a difference.

Thanks tammybear. I actually don't have a shortage of things to play with her and she instigates a lot of the 'scenarios' we act out with her toys on her own. It's just that she wants me to join in more and more and gets really upset when I can't because I have to do something else or if I want to chat (briefly) to another mum in the park etc. I was curious really to see if it was an only child thing.

Think its personality. Ds2 is effectively an only child with this sort of thing as his older brother is severely autistic so interaction is very limited. (And ds1 doesn't play imaginatively so there's no sibling to copy). He plays imaginatively by himself for ages. He likes to drag my dad off into his games, but he prefers to get me to read to him (possibly because I've always been a bit unenthusiastic with the games, or because I frequently have to dash off to deal with ds1 when we play together).

i had to play 'dont fall in the water' with my dd1 the other week. she had placed books and cushions all over the floor which we had to stand on and walk across off the room that way. i fell in and got eaten by a shark

the game was easier was i was her age and not as big and clumsy as i am now.

I wouldn't like to recount some of the games I've got caught up with with dd ...

Oh your dd sounds exactly like mine prefernot, she has always played these imaginary games and still does aged 7. She plays them on her own, with her friends and with dh and me. Yes she is an only but I did the same and I was one of 4! I think its great that they have these enormous imaginations and I would do nothing to discourage it. I know what you mean though about joining in, sometimes I get it "wrong" (dd likes to be in charge!)

Yes, Cam, I'm extremely happy that she's got such a vivid imagination. My mum says I was the same. At the moment though it's bordering on 'obsessive' with her as she doesn't want to do anything else. And she gets incredibly frustrated if I won't / can't play with her. Sometimes she gets involved in a 'game' in a really awkward place like on the window ledge on the bus and she really lets rip when we have to get off. Or today she wanted to play with her Noddy and Big Ears (I always have to be Big Ears ) on a stack of supermarket trolleys in the pouring rain. She threw a real wobbler that I insisted we went and played at home instead.

Sounds like a combination of a reflective, imaginative child and the terrible 2s!
My ds always wanted to play these kind of games - and my mum who looked after him 3 days while I worked - was always very happy to jump around the playground being Mr McGregor to his Peter rabbit (she's 65!) or being the customer in his cafe which he made on top of the climbing frame.
My dd has now reached 2 and is not nearly as interested in these games as her brother - she prefers playing with people or actually swinging on a swing. But she does think the world revolves around her so I would think that if she did decide she wanted me to play with her in the pouring rain she would throw a wobbly if I didn't!

Thanks scotlou. Well another thing that happens is we leave the flat to go to the park which is literally a 5-10 minute walk away and it takes us 20 minutes to get from the door to the lift, 10 minutes to get from the lift to the front doors, then at least an hour to get to the park by which point it's almost always time to leave given that it will take at least another hour to get home unless I brutally stuff dd into the pram and do verbal games with her all the way home!! The sad thing is she seems always disappointed that there's no time to play in the park when we get there. I've no idea how to get her to get a move on. I say 'come on, quick now, the park will be closed' and she runs 5 steps then notices something to play with, gets fed up if I don't indulge, and on it goes.

She's an absolute darling though. And the games are incredibly sweet if a little trying for a tired mummy at times. I mostly try to get into her 'world' as much as I can and forget we've got an agenda to stick to. She's a little solipsist, when other kids are around she still goes off into her own little world, preferably with me in it, and doesn't seem interested in playing with them.

Meant to say in my earlier post BTW that your dd was very lovely, I remember her wrapping herself in the curtain at Coram Fields on Saturday!

Oh, thanks merrygoround. It was lovely to meet you too!

Talking of wrapping herself in a curtain ... this morning we went to the library which has wrappable curtains and she started a game in there which went on for an hour (me a part-time player in between choosing her some books) and I couldn't persuade her out of there and had to resort to carrying her kicking and screaming out of the door. I'd tried telling her I was going and disappeared out of sight but she remained there repeating over and over 'mummy bring Big Ears' like a little robot.

Someone tell me that some of this is a phase!!!

I hope it is a phase as I currently spend about half an hour every evening waddling like a penguin, being fed like a penguin, going on penguin holidays etc etc

LOL Welshmum, the things we put up with!!! My dd would love your penguin I'm sure, she's a big Pingu fan. I seem to spend my time being Big Ears to dd's Noddy. The moment I try to do something else I just hear this plaintive, repetitive 'Big Ears watch, Big Ears watch'. If I had a pound for every time I've said 'You funny little Noddy' I'd have earned enough to employ a Big Ears lookalike for a few hours a week.