5 year old anger issues.

[12Lou34]

Hi,

So my 5 year old hasn't had the easiest start in life. Father in and out of his life along with other family members. He was bullied when he started school. Really struggles with his emotions and I believe he has a lot of anxiety.
The last two years have been pretty bad and it only seems to be getting worse.
Over the last few months his anger has escalated rapidly. Especially around bedtime.
Example, I let him know that it'll be time for bed soon. Have the same bedtime routine. He can not calm down however much I try. He has now started hitting himself when he's angry. Shouts in my face that he's angry then goes around hitting walls, doors and now himself. Tonight he even started hitting me and laughing while doing it telling me it made him feel better when he hit me.
I know he has been though a lot and understandably, really struggles with it all but now I am actually scared of what he will do next. This isn't just a tantrum. He is harming himself and others with these outbursts. I have tried speaking to him while he's calm and he just says he doesn't know what's making him so angry.
I am literally at a loss of what to do now. I feel I've tried everything but if anyone can advise anything at all that may help please do!!!!
Just desperately want him to be happy again and find a way to deal with this anger that seems to be consuming him at the moment.

Can I ask about his diet? One of mine had similar issues and I worked out that she was and still is, highly sensitive to additives. I stopped her having any sweets or juice at all after school. She can cope with liquorice or a bit of good quality chocolate but nothing like Haribo or similar.

No pre-boxed packets or foods at all.

Other than that ...does anything else trigger his anger apart from bedtime?

Thanks for your reply.
I noticed a few years back that when he had strawberries and any kind of fruit juice he would be hyper for the next few hours. So completely cut them out. He doesn't have many sweets or chocolate to be honest but I'll keep an eye on that.
It's mainly around bedtime. He will have a little tantrum if he's told he can't do something or go somewhere but it's not even a touch on bedtime.
I've tried to make his bedroom a calming place and have set up a calming den for before bedtime to read a story and have a cuddle but as soon as that is over all hell breaks loose....

That's funny...it was strawberries, juice and jelly which affected DD!

HAve you thought about having music or stories on for him after you leave? Lots of kids just don't like the isolation of bed time...they're lonely.

I found a lot of good ones on youtube.,,designed for bedtime.

That's a good idea.. I've put audio books on for him before but it didn't make much of a difference but I'll try the music.
Thanks for your help!!

Music can be incredibly powerful if you get the right pieces. I would start by finding some suitable songs and then put them on during the day at a time when he's at his happiest. Then again at bedtime.

My DD liked Christmas carols! I used to have to listen to them nightly as I could hear them from her room!