My son calls my ex daddy, but the contact has ended :(

[Kerry213472]

I’m just after some advice please. I couldn’t feel anymore guilty. My sons biological dad vanished into thin air after I told him I was pregnant. I then met my ex when I was 5 months pregnant and was with him for 4 years. My son has always called him daddy. However when we split the contact became less and less regular, until my ex decided he didn’t want contact anymore at Christmas. I can’t do anything about that. I have been with my new partner for 2 years and I have just given birth to our daughter. Recently my son has been crying for his daddy and asking to see him. I really don’t know what to say. I’ve been telling him he’s at work but I can’t keep this up. I feel like I’ve gone about everything the wrong way and don’t know how to explain any of it to my son. I feel like I’m in a huge hole. How do I tell him that his daddy isn’t his biological daddy and he’s also not going to be around anymore. My hearts breaking for him. :(

Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault that your ex has behaved like this. Likely, the birth of his sister has made your son feel insecure. He's old enough now to know that his sister's Dad isn't his Dad. So he wants to know where he stands.

First things first...what is his relationship with your new partner like? Is it good?

Next....how to address the disappearing Daddy. Don't go into the biological thing just yet. It's too much for him to take in at this age. All he knows was that's his Dad.

You need to explain that his Daddy is not going to be around any longer because he's not thinking in the right way.

Talk to him about kindness and how the most healthy people are the kindest and most loving...then e

Then explain how some people aren't good at being kind all the time...it's because perhaps people weren't always kind to them when they were children.

Talk then about how his Daddy is one of those people...so he's unable to be as kind as a good Daddy needs to be. And because of this, he won't be coming any longer. Make sure you tell your son firmly that it is not his fault...he did nothing wrong...and that his Dad is the only person who is to blame.

THis is a lot for a small boy so it's VITAL that he has constant reassurance that you and his step dad love him always. You OP cannot guarantee that his step Dad will always be around...don't say that but impress on him that YOU will be. That Mummies are different to Daddies and that you will never leave him because you're a good Mummy who is kind and can love.