How much do you play with your children?

[Flik]

I worry alot that I don't play with my girls enough especially dd2.My life seems to be an endless cycle of work, housework, washing and ironing. When I do get 5 minutes I tend to sit with a cup of tea. We always do a bed time story and role play alot while im doing jobs but I don't actually sit and concentrate on games with them. I was at home in the day with dd1 for the first 2 years so had alot of play time with her but I work now and dd2 hardly gets any. There are lots of cuddles and kisses though.

I feel just like you Flik. I think my 2 ds are older than your girls, mine are 9 and 10. I only work part time but life is one big rush. Sometimes they go to bed and I feel like I have hardly spoken properly to them. I know that mine are a bit old to play with but they still have things like chemistry sets which need adult supevison and I always feel like I am saying we will do that later and sometimes it takes ages to get round to it. I am the same as you though in the fact that even now we have a bed time routine. We always sit and have a cuddle and a drink before bed, even though they would kill me for telling you. I do worry about the years rushing by and they won't be here anymore. We do do a lot as a family though, days out and holidays. I always sit and talk to them at the end of the day no matter how busy we have been. O think kisses and cuddles are very important.

Glad to hear your in the same boat and Im not alone Goldfish. When buying toys or suggesting gifts for them I have to think 'will they be able to do that by themselves, or will I have to be there everytime it comes out'. As a result of our hectic lives they have become pretty self reliant when it comes to playing and dd2 (17months) is now wanting to play with dd1 (4years) all the while. I don't really know if it's all good or bad, I have friends that play with their children all day and some of the little ones are quite demanding and expect to be entertained alot. I don't know whats worse.

I get so bored playing with my ds,god that sounds awful doesn't it? His attention span is non existant and he hates me interfering so our together time is usually reading .I think kids need to beable to entertain themselves.I have friends whose kids now aged 12 can't entertain themselves because they've never been left to potter around on their own.My ds aged 2 plays in the garden for ages on his own,usually ends up a mess but he's happy and I keep an eye on him..honest!

I try and play with him everynow and then throughout the day and that seems to satisfy him.

don't feel guilty,kids need to know that life involves all sorts ie. the housework etc. and as long as you involve them in family day to day life they are happy in my opinion

I think we are all in the same boat, whatever our circumstances. I have mine at home every day, but some days I think I have hardly really spoken to them! We have recently bought loads of board games and got rid of the TV (because I was using it as a childminder I admit it!) and we try to have at least 1 game before they go to bed. Also, they help me with the housework - washing dishes, laundry etc. (although I usually have to go over it again myself) so, although we are not playing, we are still spending good quality time together.

I think the important thing is that you are concerned about the amount of time you spend with them - there are so many parents who are just not bothered. So, instead of worrying about the times you can't spend playing with them, congratulate yourself on the times you do and for being a caring, responsible parent.

Flik, I think it is good that children can be self-reliant instead of having to be constantly stimulated. When I was growing up with 4 siblings, my mother spend as much time as she could with us, but obviously that wasnt a lot. So we all played together, and my younger sister was my best friend, and still is. We look back on having had a really happy childhood although mum was so busy. My 4 girls spend much of the day playing together, and as a result I am not under too much pressure to entertain them. I think thats a good thing, because Im sure if they were constantly wanting attention, I would go off my head!!! The bedtime story is brilliant though - it is something they will always remember you taking the time to do.