Struggling with 10 week old

[kirstywursty012]

Hi Mums,

I've actually been really chuffed that I haven't posted on here for a while, DD was a dream between weeks 6-9. Something's changed though and its like she's a completely different baby. Between 4-9 every eve she whinges, screams and fusses and its really getting me down. My husband is so impatient and can't cope with helping me soothe her (typical man just thinks there should be a solution rather than understanding that she wants to cry sometimes). I feel like I'm on my own in this and we've been arguing constantly. I'm starting to really resent him.

Back to DD, she is an amazing sleeper (9:30pm - 4am! Then 4.30am-8am!) and she's a happy little cherub in the mornings where we play on the mat. In the late afternoon she gets really upset, chewing on her fist a lot and not allowing me to put her down.

I just wanted to see if
a) There will be light at the end of the tunnel.... or should I be more concerned with this behaviour.
b) you had any advice on dealing with unhelpful husbands (please don't suggest that I leave him...I know we can get through this but he is pushing my patience!)

We are formula feeding and I don't really think its collic because she is a good little burper/pooker and doesn't seem to look like she's in pain with wind.

To me it just sounds like your LO is just going through the ‘witching hour’ where they are just a bit upset in the afternoon/evening for no particular reason. It doesn’t just last an hour I’m afraid! It does get better though but more than anything just because you get to know your kid better! You’ll soon learn what works and what doesn’t, though of course it’ll change daily!

With regards to your hubby, well I don’t have any great answers. Acknowledging that you’re both in a difficult situation trying to deal with your DD and that neither of you have the answer right now helps a little. And just hanging onto the knowledge that it really does get easier even though it doesn’t feel like it will right now.

She could be teething. That can start at any age from the womb. Have you looked at her gums? If you can see something coming use some teething gel.
She could also be on a growth spurt and just really hungry. Try an extra feed in the evening.
DS1 at 10 weeks was very hungry and sometimes got through 3 big bottles of an evening.
It will pass. Then you’ll be on to the next stage.
Your DH is being a twat. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to make him not be a twat. He is responsible for his own behaviour. Forget him and focus on the baby. Tell him you’ll sort baby out in the evening because you have the patience to do it. He should cook and clean and do washing while you do that. Sounds fair.

Sounds like things are going pretty well. You are getting sleep. Evening whinging is normal - just keep BF or jiggling or sling.

As for the husband. Is he spending any 1-1 time with baby? Maybe go out for a few hours of a morning when she’s calmer and let him bond and learn how to soothe her.

Is she having regular naps during the day? It sounds like she's at her best after a sleep. With both of my babies I found that around this age they stopped just drifting off after feeds/whenever they felt tired, so needed a bit more help (walk in the sling etc). If they didn't get enough sleep during the day they would be screaming banshees come the evening!

Plenty of people will try to offer reasons and solutions. She is not teething. For some reason unknown to anyone. many babies will have a cranky couple of hours and again unknown, it is more common in the evening. This period will pass but you need to develop tactics to survive it. For most families, this means not having any other commitments during this time. Tricky I know when its dinner time but people do it. It's not forever. Firstly. do everything you need to do (like preparing a meal, early, before she starts. For many families, mother or father taking the baby out in the pram for a walk is much easier to cope with than listening to wails in the house. If she is roaring I think it would be very counterproductive to try and push Dad into taking the responsibility. It's a bit fashionable but hardly helps with bonding and actually makes a lot of men feel helpless when they would like a solution. You may never find one. Find a coping mechanism and know it is not your fault. If you get into a pattern you will cope. If she is growing and thriving there is unlikely to be anything wrong. Once you accept this you will be surprised how much stress is removed. This situation causes stress between the parents so manage how you deal with that

I'm pretty sure there's a developmental leap at around that time. Most babies become clingy and fussy when they are going through these leaps. I know it's tough when you're doing all you can and can't soothe them. Honestly, with my DD, I make sure she is fed, changed and winded, then cuddle her with some earplugs in! The only thing you can do is comfort her. If she shows any other signs of being in any pain or discomfort then obviously see a GP but this is sadly normal! I hope it passes for you soon!