Should I be worried or am I being Paranoid.

[Arhumuk]

First time Dad here and first time post. My DS has turned 14 month today. The last two months have been very hard for me and the feeling of clinical depression felt very real Ive had to see a therapist due to my anxiety. When my son turned 12 month my wife pointed out that he he rarely responded to his name and this was a n important milestone, furthermore his eye contact was fleeting. I was conviced that he must be autistic and this became a point of contention between my wife and I which has caused immense strain in our marriage. My wofe is a Speech and Language therapist so she was conviced because of her experience our son was not autistic.

Over the last three weeks my sons behaviour has changed almost unrecognisable h=it feels he is actually engaging with us his eye contact is strong just like any other toddler his age. But he still does'nt respond to his name consistently which is a cause of concern to me it has improved i'd say he responds 30 40 percent of the time. The improvement has coincided with the emergence of his teeth as teething went on for a protracted period. But this is my only cause for concern at the moment,..

His positives far out number the negative. This is what he does do.

Walk, Fine motor skills are impressive for example he has a strong pincer grip and can hold key rings with his thumb and forefinger. Can feed himself finger food. Higfive when you ask him.

Babbles and can say Apple , mUMMY Daddy

Engaging with everyone and is aware of his environment.

Has started to display imaginative play making broom broom noises when playing with cars. Pretending a book is a car going brrom brrom with it pushing it on the floor,

Smiles and laughs is response to you smiles, loves peekaboo and incy wincy. He waves and claps

JA evidenced eg reading a book he looks at the book then looks at me smiles and then bak to the book. We were playing with a horse both looking at it then he looked at me smiles then back to the toy horse. There are other examples.

Furthermore he has since two weeks ago handing thing to me like his books a toy.

Lasty he has started pointing at thing. For example at the dinner table the warning for battery running out came up onto the tablet he pointed at it and started winging as if to say get that off. My wife was takingn him in the park and he started to point at the duck in the park. but she is not sure if he looked back at her.

So you see there are a lot of psitive but responding to his name consistently remains an issue particulalrly when he is engaged in an activity. Should I be concerned or give it a little more time before I start panicking. My wife is absolutely convinced he is not Autistic as she has worked with autistic children.

As I said 2 mnths ago I could tell there was something odd about is engagement bt recently compring him to other children his age there is little difference. And I analyse him like a hawk, which has led me to go a bit boonker.

Your advice would be appreciated.

Hi @AladdinMum and everyone else. Just an update on my son 23 months sorry if it is long. I had parents evening in late Nov and his Key carer the one who suspected Autism now takes it back and says she believes he does not have Autism. She feels he is very aware of his surrounding his interactions have improved he has a lot of imaginative play and she said that he understands humour.

His social referencing has improved a lot. a lot more frequent general 3 point gaze ie looking at an object then looking at me then back to object, social referencing if unsure looks to his mum or me. If his cousin snatches his toys he cries and looks to me to get it back.

Vocabualary has increased , I think in excess of 60 I think could be more he can count to 10 starting to know some of his shapes can point out nose eyes head. listens to simple instructions but not all the time some time ignores me eg get shoes get hat . will sit if I ask him. He can point out and name all the family members like grandad aunty etc. So he knows all their names. He sings songs "the wheels on the bus" and particularly clear with "all day long". Loves circle time at nursery and sings along with head knees and toes pointing the body parts out

Pretend play with lego men or minature dolls last week saw him make what looked like a slide out of his blanket and pretended to slide the lego men down saying wee, wee. Also makes the lego men kiss making a kiss sound. Plays a lot more with peers with his cousin like to wrestle

Copies very well I was putting up a clock and he pretended to put up his toy clock making a drilling noise.

However language wise has not started pairing word like verbs and nouns which is concerning.

He is still pointing a lot when we go out so he will point to a plane in the sky and say plane or flower or tree but as I have always maintained is very inconsistent at looking back so not sure if he is showing me or saying it to himself. Not saying that he has never looked backed but not as often as would be typically be expected.

He still gives me things so for example showed me with eye contact some speck of paper he picked up off the ground.

Im still concerned about autism as it seems he is falling behind in his language and comprehension.

He sounds completely normal to me tbh. I think your early concerns have led to you obsessing over tiny issues now. All these guidelines etc are just averages, plenty of people will be above or below these markers and still normal.

Im going to be blunt here, you NEED to go back to therapy and get some help for your anxiety. Kids are smart, they pick up on this stuff. You're going to teach him that there's something wrong with him at this rate. No child hits every single marker dead on time. Please get help, you're creating issues where there are none.

Hi All and @AladdinMum

Just an update my son has just turned 26month old. So he is looking to me a lot more when pointing. And is even saying "look" when pointing then looking to me .

Also started to use the words mine when he beleives something belongs to him. Joining two word phrases a lot more. More imaginative play. And is also telling us when he has done a poo and tells us Oucy when he has hurt himself showing us where he has hurt himself.

His communicative eye contact is there as before when something new happens he looks to us, when he gets hurt he looks at us always referencing to us when he's in trouble.

But he has become a thumb sucker to the point his thumb is blistered

Hi, It's been a while since I posted. I've had another boy since this post. But my older son is speaking in sentences although i THINK HE MAY BE SLIGHTLY BEHIND HIS PEERS. He can answer what, where who questions. The only question he cant answer nor does he ask it is the Why questions.

He is 3.5 years old. There are other behaviours which is bringing the whole Autism concern back, I'm not losing my mind over it as I was 2 years ago because he is a clever , bubbly lovely intelligent boy. I He has a lot of imaginative play from a young age.

But he can be a bit stubborn. Sometimes when he wants some thing like a toy lets say a car he wont stop saying I want the car until he gets it and he throws a mighty strop if he doesn't get it. Although the tantrum stops immediately once he gets what he wants.

Is this typical behaviour for a 3.5 year old and is he behind on the why question?

Any insight would be helpful

Good to hear he's doing well. The stubborness is definitely normal. I would just deal with it as calmly as you can. Mine is 3y3mo and has answered why questions properly for a long time, maybe about a year, but still doesn't ask why that often although she'll ask where's/who's/what's that questions and lots of other questions. He sounds lovely and on track so I wouldn't worry.

Thanks for your response .yeah my neice mastered understanding the why questions about a year ago.

Will try and model it for him

hi @arhumuk i wonder how is your doing now are there any update?

Hi He's doing well talking in sentences, very friendly my mum describes him as a bit of a chatterbox.

Good sense if humour , lots of imaginative play. Doesnlt have many strong friendship bonds other than those with his cousins. Doesn't really talk about any particular friend at nursery although the nursey says he plays with the other children.

He will on his own initiative approach kids that he does not know at our local playground and start playing with them and trying to converse them.

Follows instructions very well any concerns I had mostly have gone away . But the only issue I have with his reasoning like the Why question, He asks and understands most questions except that for some reason.

@Arhumuk

Hi He's doing well talking in sentences, very friendly my mum describes him as a bit of a chatterbox.

Good sense if humour , lots of imaginative play. Doesnlt have many strong friendship bonds other than those with his cousins. Doesn't really talk about any particular friend at nursery although the nursey says he plays with the other children.

He will on his own initiative approach kids that he does not know at our local playground and start playing with them and trying to converse them.

Follows instructions very well any concerns I had mostly have gone away . But the only issue I have with his reasoning like the Why question, He asks and understands most questions except that for some reason.

thank you for your response.

I am glad he is doing very well. can i ask you what result comes with nhs for him?