How to avoid knee-jerk discipline!!

[User1053051066]

Grrrr. Got a teen boy, a pre-teen girl and a younger dc. Teen boy is a great kid but has contempt for his dsis which infuriates me. He is rude to her and has no time for her. It needs to stop. He's a great kid in many ways- smart, mature, helpful, clever etc so it's not like I have a constant behavioural issue to deal with therefore I am normally calm but when he is rude or disrespectful about dd I get so angry with him my biggest problem is I make rash decisions which aren't realistic.

I need excellent discipline techniques.

You can't force him to have time for your dd, or want to be around her.
You can pull him up on being rude - sending him somewhere boring to think about his attitude is a good way of giving yourself time to think before reacting. Another good tool is having a set consequence so you don't overreact.

Having clear expectations about what is and isn't appropriate language in the house is important.

Thanks. I always tell my dc that we don't have to like everybody, but we do have to be nice to them (school issues etc normally!)

OK so I'm looking for expert parents with the best tricks!!