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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Stairgates- when to get rid

18 replies

Tatat · 12/07/2007 11:38

DS is 2.7, we always escort him up or down the stairs and have gates at top and bottom.

Friends over at the weekend said "ah love him you still have the stairgates on, time to get rid soon then!" which has set me thinking. Am I being a bit of a wuss? He can get up and down fine on his own (escorting is walking up/down at the same time rather than holding hand etc)but just still worry a bit that he will topple over because he's got distracted by the cat/spider on the ceiling/his own nose etc etc etc)
What do you think?

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summerunderakaftan · 12/07/2007 11:50

I stopped escorting dd up and down just before she turned 2. We do still have a starigate at the top that is only shut at night because at nearly 4 I could not trust her not to get up in the morning and wreck the house and thankfully the one on the stairs she can't open herself....yet.

I think by now I would probably have stopped escorting him up and down every time he goes but would probably keep the one at the top for night. I think and I am guilty of this as well of underestimating how fast they have grown up and what they are capable of.

How about standing at the bottom at first and let him go up and down himself before you go totally cold turkey.
One of the reasons I made a point of letting go as far as the stairs go and taught dd to go up and down properly herself early on was because I had a friend who's sone was nearly if not already 4 and had no idea about stairs safety as she had never ever let him learn safely to do it himself.

bozza · 12/07/2007 11:52

DD is 3.3 and we have not had stair gates on for ages. I would say before she was 2 probably.

flatmouse · 12/07/2007 11:57

When my two started crawling, they were taught to come downstairs "backwards". Made a game of out it. That way they were safe and confident at coming downstairs before they started crawling upstairs.

We've never had a stairgate and never had a problem/accident.

Even now when they're both perfectly capable of walking downstairs, they often revert to sitting on bottoms and bumping down (couple of stages up from the original "backwards").

herbiemom · 12/07/2007 11:57

We too only have a stairgate at the top now - our youngest is 2.9 and quite confidently managing the stairs but both DC wake up at 5ish and I don't want them getting downstairs at that time so the gate stays until they start sleeping in!

OhNo40 · 12/07/2007 12:02

We moved house when DD was 2.4 and decided not to put up the stairgates.
I too am probably over-anxious (from reading other MN posts I think I have a very bad case of PFB syndrome) but on the other hand I didn't want to put stairgates up for a couple of months and then have to put them up in the loft. She's been fine without them.
I know what you mean about distractions though - there's just so much more to look at/talk about than what they are supposed to be concentrating on!

Original poster

Tatat · 12/07/2007 12:04

Thanks for you advice all, think it's time to admit to myself he's not a baby any more sob (yes he still has a dummy, goes to bed with a bottle and is still being squished into a cot
I think I maybe need to let go a bit! Or dh needs to get with the programme and let me have another baby like I've been hinting at for 2.4 years)

OP posts:

katepol · 12/07/2007 14:05

It's not a competition you know !

Take 'em off when you feel your DS is ready and safe without them.

We stil have ours on stairs (top and bottom) and on the older girls' room. This is to stop our 2 yr old going up and down at will (I want to be on the same floor as him when he is playing), and to stop him getting on the girls bunkbeds and using it as a trampoline.

Also, they are useful if your children sleep walk, have night terrors, or get up in the night for a wee and are disoriented.

For me, they make life easier with several children to look out for. The girls can open them so they aren't restricted.

Up to you though, and how comfy you feel about your DS being able to come and go at will. If oyu have only one child, it is prob easier to keep an eye and ear out though...

katepol · 12/07/2007 14:08

My two yr old is fine on the stairs btw, comes down on his tummy, climds up holding the rail. Hwr, he does like carrying things, and going upstairs and turning the taps on while I am hanging the washing out

Smithagain · 12/07/2007 19:05

With DD1 we removed them before she was two. She was stable on the stairs and tried to climb over the gate which we reckoned was more risky than access to the stairs.

DD2 is now the same age and no way will we be getting rid of them for a while. She is the original tumbletot and likes to try new moves half way up/down the stairs. No falls yet, but it's only a matter of time.

You make the decision based on your child. But from what you've said, it sounds as if he's ready.

TheArmadillo · 12/07/2007 19:10

ds is 2.8 and we have taken them off when he could open them (both different).

Kitchen one came off a couple of weeks ago.

The one at the top of the stairs is still on cos he only worked out how to do it this morning (he is now refusing to go to bed and running around upstairs in and out the stair gate ).

Nothing bad is going to happen from keeeping the stair gates on. Take them off when you're ready.

nimnom · 12/07/2007 19:30

We couldn't have a stairgate at bottom so both ds's learnt stairs very early. Youngest was almost climbing over one at top when about 16 months so it had to come down. Will save to put over bedroom door when he goes into a bed. It worked a treat with the eldest who thought being in bed was a license to run riot upstairs!!

amidaiwish · 12/07/2007 19:32

DD2 is 21m and we never have the bottom one shut anymore, i only keep it because many of my friends have younger dcs and they shut it when they come over.

the one at the top i will keep for a while yet. she has just moved into a toddler bed and i wouldn't want her to get up in the night and go for a wander downstairs.

so neither stairgate are because she isn't fully capable of going up and down the stairs safely, she has been able to for a good few months and comes down walking holding the bannister spindles.

MadamePlatypus · 12/07/2007 21:35

I think alot depends on your stairs and the layout of your house. We have very steep stairs and DS's bedroom is right next to them. We still have the stairgate at the top because of DD (8 months), but me and DH have both slipped down the stairs in the middle of the night so it is possible that we might not have got rid of the stairgate yet even without DD.

If we had a more modern house with stairs at a more shallow pitch, and if the bedroom layout was a bit different, we might have never bothered with a stairgate. However, no amount of training will ever make our stairs safe for a small child.

annoyingdevil · 13/07/2007 14:05

Agree with last poster - depends on stairs. 17 mths for DD but our stairs are straight up and down, and not steep. In the process of teaching the one year old to go up and down, he's escorted at the moment.

chopster · 13/07/2007 14:07

I am so envious of you. My two have been climbing stairgates snce they were about 20 months, so we haven't had them on the stairs for ages. we have two on their bedroom to stop them getting out, one above the other.

Surfermum · 13/07/2007 14:14

Lol (at myself) - I still have dd's stairgate up and she's 4! I've not consciously left it there it's just that I haven't bothered to take it down either. Maybe when I get my organised mum's diary I can schedule a time to take it down.

sweetkitty · 13/07/2007 14:21

I have 3 stairgates, top and bottom of stairs and across kitchen/lounge. They are more to restict where the DDs go unsupervised than safety. If they were open DD2 would pull everything out the kitchen and play splash with the cats waterbowl. Also it stops them wandering upstairs at will. I like the fact I know that the lounge/dining room is completely baby proof and they can't wander upstairs.

ejt1764 · 13/07/2007 14:24

DS is nearly 5 and we still have a stairgate on at the top of the stairs - but it's only shut at night (after ds goes to bed), as he sleepwalks, and his bedroom door is right opposite the top of the stairs.

We took the bottom gate off when we were selling our last house - when ds was about 18 months old ... mind you, he started walking at 10 months, so was pretty good at the stairs by then!

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