8 year old girl and "accidents"

[Oomph]

My 8 year old girl is a happy, bright, generally well behaved girl (with her head in the clouds a lot of the time, but such is life).

The problem is that she will have accidents most days, and end up with wet knickers. It's not like a full bladder's worth, but enough to have noticeably wet knickers, and the subsequent bad smell. She also goes through phases where she'll have number two accidents. She says that she does not notice why or when it happens, and she seems unbothered about it (which is precisely what bothers me the most).

Does anyone have similar issues with their DC, and have you found out how to deal with it? I've tried ignoring it and not pressuring her, I've tried star charts, and I've just now got quite angry before bedtime, which I regret, but I'm at the end of my tether. I will be taking her to the doctor to deal with her hay fever, so will bring this issue up. I will also ask her teacher to let her go to the toilet during class if necessary, although I'm not even sure that that is the problem.

Any advice would be most welcome.

Bumping in desperation

Hope someone comes along with a bit of advice soon.

My reception age dd, wets her knickers some days (but not most days). I think this is usually because she is so focused on what she is doing that she holds on and holds on and then it is too late.
Is this a recent thing op? Are there any issues surrounding entering the school toilets etc? Is she dry at night? Maybe worth having a chat with the GP if you have concerns that it is happening a lot

The two might be linked - is she constipated with bowel pressure causing wetting and seepage past compacted faeces causing soiling?

ERIC's website is worth looking at.

For the meantime, teach her how to use and change pads for periods, and ask her school teachers if she can be allowed to use the adult bathrooms when she needs to change it. That will at least remove any negative attention she might be receiving for the smell.

Thank you all for your advice. I’ll have a look at ERIC website.

@catwithkittens, she does not seem to be constipated, and she does not wet the bed at night.

I think it may well be, as Daphne points out, that she’s too engrossed in what she’s doing.