Behaviour advice

[Scrib]

I have a 5yo daughter and a 7yo son. And their behaviour is out of hand.
We do naughty step, no tablets, no treats and Sticker charts. But they just don't care.
They've flooded the bathroom a few times, blocked the toilet by putting roll after roll down it. They've plastered the walls and ceilings with wet toilet roll.
One of them snuck a pen downstairs and they've drawn all over every single wall, on their door, on their mattresses and on lgs brand new bed.
The other night they poured a big bottle of bubble bath and 4 bottles of shower gel all over the bathroom and themselves.
These are just a few examples! I could go on for days!!
Last sofa was less than a year old before they wrecked it. New sofa is a few months old and it's already got pen and other mystery marks on it.
They've also taken to stealing, which is the thing I want to stamp out most. They will sneak into the kitchen and steal anything and everything, chocolate, crisps, sweets, cakes, yoghurts, ice-cream/ice lollies. Literally anything.
It's not like we're strict either, if they want something all they have to do is ask.
I'm sick of having to hide things or not buy things because of them.
I'm at a loss with them. Doesn't matter how loud I shout they just find it funny.
I thought maybe they aren't behaving because we don't take them on days out anymore. But I refuse to take them out because I don't want them to think they can act that way and get rewarded for it.
Also got a 3 year old who's starting to copy them as well.
I'm sick of my house being like a squat! I'd love a nice house with nice things.
I'm struggling to deal with it. I feel like breaking down and crying.

Are they bored? Why are they alone upstairs? Not judging you but they sound like they're trying to entertain themselves.

Is there a particular time of day when they're more likely to get up to this sort of thing? Maybe they need more organised activities, visits to the park, games in the garden?

They aren't bored I don't think. When asked why they do it, they just say they don't know.
They have tablets, games, toys and craft stuff that but they sneak off to do this or that.
We tried organised stuff, like this day we do that, that day we do this and if they don't want to do it, they will do whatever they can to ruin it.
I do baking with them, painting, glittering stuff, board games but they aren't interested.
I've given them buckets of water with bubbles in to play with and it got tipped out onto the floor.
They go to the toilet and they'll do it then. They don't always do it together.
The bedrooms are next to the bathroom on the ground floor.
We used to go to the park (when it isn't flooded) and they refuse to leave, and it's difficult to drag 2 of them away kicking and screaming making a scene with a 3 year old in tow as well.
Our garden is out of action whilst wet because water pools in the garden (we live on a hill and water comes down into our garden) and it goes all boggy. But even in the garden they will go back inside for the toilet or get something and they will do it then. I bought a sand pit for them for the garden and last summer I popped in to the toilet, was gone maybe a minute and one of them had tipped it over, becasue they didn't want to play with it. And we can't chase them and be on them constantly. I'm outnumbered.
Often it's after they go to bed that they'll do it. We've sat with them till they fall asleep but they wake up in the early hours/early morning and do it then. 5yo still wakes through the night and will waker her brother up to play.
In the past we've thought they were both asleep and she wasn't, she just laid with her eyes shut till we went! 5yo is very sneaky.
I'm not sure how angry I can be at the drawings on the wall, because they're all maths sums! 7yo loves doing maths.

So the problem is actually discipline. You've got in a rut where they're calling all the shots.

I advise you to watch a load of Super Nanny videos on Youtube. Her techniques are simple and work...you have to really follow them though.

Thank you. I'll have a look.
We do follow through with all punishments, but they just aren't phased.

If I was in your position I would go nuclear. Massive punishment. You'll only have to do it once. Go into their rooms and take everything. They only need a bed to sleep on. Then take all of the pens, felt tips etc and bin them. Keep 2 and some pencils for homework but put a lock on a cupboard door and keep them there. Similarly only keep one shower gel and don't have bubble bath for now. Then sit them down and say "when you learn to behave nicely you can earn all your things back". You could let each child keep 5-10 toys in a tub in the living room but they have a toy confiscated if they behave badly. I know loads of people will think I'm harsh but you don't have to be mean or angry about discipline. Just factual " you aren't respectful of this home and this is the result."

Thank you. I've tried similar in the past. All pens/pencils/crayons were taken away. They had 1 pencil each and I'd let them use the crayons for homework as well. But once that was finished they'd go back away. They weren't bothered. I only recently allowed them to have the pens etc back after almost a year without and within a week they'd drawn all over stuff. So they are now back away.
They aren't overly fussed with toys either. In the bedroom they have the beds and some draws that I've also emptied. They can't be trusted with anything in the bedroom. I even considered removing the beds and letting them just sleep on the mattresses on the floor after that ripped the curtains down.
But I've watched a few episodes of supernanny and we've implemented house rules that are written down, a sticker chart and the naughty step. So far, fingers crossed we've had no big problems. But no coincidence that there's a circus coming to town and my 5 year olds desperate to go so she's been on her best behaviour!

I have a 6 year old and she will do things to get a reaction out of me, and if I raise my voice she has that face as if she's won! The best thing you can do is to not shout, to tell them off and give them a consequence, but you need to figure out something that will get to them as horrible as it sounds! I usually promise to take my daughter to the cinema at the end of the month or to go to soft play at the end of the week etc etc maybe you could suggest one on one time where you take one of them to their favourite places when they've been extra good? Sounds bad but if the other child sees their sibling being rewarded and them missing out potentially, then it may make them see that being naughty is making them lose out xx good luck whatever u try

Also give them a choice of their reward or place to go (within your budget ofcourse) doesn't need to cost a lot always :)

My dd did have just a mattress when she was small because she hurt herself on her bed. If they are getting up to mischief and it would make life easier you could do that. My brother chose to have a mattress on the ground when her was in his 20s for a while. I'm sure plenty of people do it.

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