So upset. DS2 is uninvited from a party

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

DS2 is 6 (year 1) and we're having behavioural problems. He still has tantrums and outbursts of anger. I've been into school about it and they don't think there's any underlying problems but obviously we all need to try and sort things out.

Yesterday his teacher told me that child A's mum had been into school because DS2 had been pushing him around. I saw A's mum at school pickup today and apologised for DS2's behaviour. A is having a party soon and I asked if it was still okay for DS2 to come or would she prefer if he didn't. She looked awkward but then said she'd rather DS2 didn't go.

I'm so upset I'm afraid I started to cry at school making A's mum feel even worse. I don't want DS2 to be a bully. His anger outbursts aren't tolerated and there are always sanctions, but he just doesn't seem to care. I just don't know what else to do.

If he's pushing children around, is this a usual thing for him?

I'm not sure what to say about him being uninvited. He did push the kid around and you say he doesn't respond well to discipline. How do you think he'll respond when you tell him that because he pushed A around, he's no longer going to the party?

I didn't know he'd been getting physical with his class mates. He sometimes pushes his brother around but not that often.

I think he's going to be upset when I tell him he's not able to go to the party but he needs to learn that his actions have consequences. But I'm sad he's going to miss out at the same time, but absolutely don't blame A's mum. Nobody likes to hear that their child is a bully do they?

I’m really sorry to hear that OP. It’s heartbreaking, I totally understand. It’s a difficult one. If the school is not concerned and there aren’t underlying problems then I think it’s a tough lesson for your DS which hopefully will make him think. But kids are kids and as adults we can’t judge. I would have still invited him with the condition you kept an eye on him at all times. My personal opinion anyway. Hope you are both ok.