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Dd, 3. Mil thinks she’s ‘backwards’

6 replies

Hopelesscase28 · 20/03/2019 11:26

God I hate the term backwards.

Dd is just 3 and unfortunately (for her) has a cousin who is a few weeks younger and seemingly super super bright.
Consequently MiL is comparing the two of them and referring to my dd as ‘backwards’. She told her she’d ‘never do any good at school’.

I also have a ds but he is 10 and although he’s bright in a lot of ways he struggles socially. He is probably academically brighter than dd.

Dd isn’t in preschool yet and MiL is obsessed with her going, although her cousin doesn’t go either so she can ‘catch up’.

Dd can:

Count by rote to 12
Touch count to 6
Recognise numbers 1-8
Recognise over half letter sounds
Write simple letters like t, l, i, o etc and will role play at writing where she writes strings of the letters and tells you what they are supposed to say.
Knows shapes, colours
Huge imagination - plays super imaginatively and that is really what she wants to do.
Extremely chatty and will talk about yesterday, today and tomorrow and events which happened over a year ago so nothing wrong with her memory.

She can colour in the lines but isn’t very interested in it, nor in drawing. Imaginary play is her thing and she will do that for hours. Dolls houses, tiny figures, that sort of thing. Not very interested in building things either.

I think she is fine overall, but it’s bothering me that she is compared so unfavourably. It’s not her fault she’s average and her cousin is Einstein!
She’s ok, isn’t she?

OP posts:
ParoxetineQueen · 20/03/2019 11:48

Of course she is, more than fine

AladdinMum · 20/03/2019 12:30

Honestly I would tell your MiL to mind her own business!... :) She sounds like she is doing really well, way better than the average - nothing to worry about.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 20/03/2019 22:36

She can do more than my DS at 3. He's 15 now and is predicted 7s and 8s at GCSEs next year.

I'd tell your "D"MIL to fuck off that they all develop at different rates and if your DD is happy, you are happy.

gower4 · 20/03/2019 23:13

She sounds fine. I also don't think you can tell much either way at this age, unless there are very severe difficulties.

HalfBearOtherHalfCat · 20/03/2019 23:48

Backwards? She sounds like a perfectly average three year old to me - maybe a little advanced if anything. MIL is either being a dickhead or she's a bit of a loon and painfully out of touch with the range of 'normal' for developing children.

Feel your pain on the comparisons though. My son and his cousin were born 48 hours apart. The cousin was early to every milestone (and my son was about as late as he could be without it being a worry) and I got pretty fed up with the comparisons. It wasn't even done unkindly in my case - just people saying: "ooh baby cousin is doing X now, is your son doing it too?" No. The answer was always no.

Cousin is now reading (aged 3.5) DS is still more inclined to use books as ramps for his cars

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/03/2019 06:53

DS is still more inclined to use books as ramps for his cars demonstrating practical engineering skills surely? Smile

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