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Please help - I don't know what to do

4 replies

NorthernPowermouse · 12/03/2019 21:21

DS is 5 and in reception.

His behaviour has always been challenging for us at home but he's been largely ok with everyone else (childminder, nursery). This all changed when he started school in September. Every week we've had reports of bad behaviour; refusing to do what he's told, being defiant and insolent, hitting other kids and even biting on a couple of occasions. Today though has been the worst yet - he hit and kicked out at his teachers and the Head when he was sent there.

We've tried everything. Praising good behaviour, trying to ignore the bad, sticker charts, removing his tablet / other treats - nothing seems to work. He knows what he's doing is wrong but he can't seem to stop himself. He was very ashamed of himself tonight and would barely look at me, never mind answering my questions about what had happened. Conversely, when he'd had a good day yesterday he was really pleased with himself (and got lots of praise and a sticker).

Academically there's no issue, he's doing well in all areas. Socially, he has a couple of friends but that's about it.

I took him to the doctor but they just said we should talk to the school's cluster. We did and someone came round and spent an hour with us last week and said we could do a course but we won't get any help until May - something to do with applying for help and getting it approved. He won't listen when we try to talk calmly to him about it, shouting also doesn't help; he just gets even more defiant.

I don't know what else to do and I'm worried sick about him. Has anyone had any experience of this and can offer advice (and reassurance that it can get better?!)

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 13/03/2019 18:20

It does sound like he's really struggling. How big is the class he's in? Could it be that's he's feeling a bit overwhelmed?

NorthernPowermouse · 13/03/2019 19:49

Possibly, yes. It’s a dual intake school so though his class is 30 kids they mix with the other class, so 60 kids in all. How do I help him get used to that, if that is the issue?

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 13/03/2019 22:36

How do I help him get used to that, if that is the issue? unfortunately, that's the bit I can't help with. You might need to post in the Primary Education section fir some assistance with that. There are some teachers that post in there so they might be able to help.

Can I ask what help the school are offering at the moment?

NorthernPowermouse · 14/03/2019 21:58

They’re trying various things to help him behave; sticker charts, incentives. He gets to work with a teacher one to one when they can (which isn’t all that often). They’re also drawing up a timetable for him so he knows what to expect and when.

I’ll try posting in primary as well then. Thank you

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