2 year old not talking

[Lightbright]

Hello, just wondered if anyone had any advice/similar experiences to share.

My 2.1 year old boy isn’t talking yet. Most people try to reassure me and say it’ll come in time, but I suppose I want to make sure I’m doing everything I can to help him.

The health visitor referred him for a hearing test at his 9 month check as he wasn’t babbling yet, but that checked out fine.

He picked up some words when he was 1, although this was limited, and he later lost some words he had learned e.g cat and ‘what’s that?’

I called my HV when he was 22 months as he still only said a few words (although his understanding is good). She referred us to a play based little talkers group to see if this gave him a boost. We have his 2 year check soon and she said if he hadn’t made any progress we could look at speech therapy.

He still only has a handful of words that he can say reliably: car, daddy, oh (no!), yes, oh dear, red, yellow, blue, green, cheese, egg, up, where’s daddy? He can also make a few animal noises, and mimic the sound of me counting to 10 and saying the alphabet. He likes songs and tries to join in, with ‘ooh’ sounds and ‘roar’. He can do some actions.

He doesn’t generally try to copy words, instead he often makes a ‘guh’ sound when trying to vocalise something. So for example, if I ask him what he would like to watch on TV, he’ll reply with ‘guh!’ and hold up a toy to indicate what he wants, like a car. When he wants to say a word, he sometimes just ‘borrows’ one from one he can say to convey that meaning, e.g instead of ‘tractor’ he’ll say ‘daddy’ - I think because he thinks this is close enough in sound. Instead of ‘star’ he’ll say ‘ssss’ followed by ‘car’.

He points to things, shows me things, and leads me round by my hand.

I had concerns about autism but I’ve done the M Chat test and it came out with a low risk score.

So, I just wondered, does this sound within the realms of ‘normal’ or should I try to proactively do more with/for him?

Grateful for any advice.

Mine was napping at 4pm too - oh well!

Oh let me know what you think of the book - I didn’t agree with it all, but some parts definitely resonated, and were reassuring. I grew up with sisters and no boys around me, so I had no prior experience or expectations of parenting a son.

If I’m totally honest, sometimes I feel a bit frustrated that he’s is not following the ‘standard’ path of development - I have moments of feeling like ‘why can’t you just say...’ when I feel he has it in him to verbalise something. But I know that’s unfair and I have to remind myself that he’s an individual and I have to let him - while making sure his needs are met and he’s happy and healthy. It can feel like a tricky balance to strike though - it’s tough this parenting gig!

Hi, a few days ago I posted about how DS had a ‘chatterbox’ assessment where a a speech and language therapist would assess how he plays etc.

So he had the assessment... she had raised concerns like how he looks when his called but he doesn’t respond. For example he didn’t ‘come here’ ‘follow me’.

She also raised a concern about repetitive behavior. He was playing the car but it was like moving it back and forth not in other directions.
She also mentioned the speech delay obviously.

She mentioned how because his made good progress in the past. It could be that his still learning. But because he doesn’t show the basic signs of autism it’s hard to say and refer him under a serious risk.

She gave us tips...
So adding words
Removing distractions like toys and just do like a thing where you get the child to interact. For example holding the hands and make them touch you and say mama or a family members so just these sort Hands on interactions.

Also if they have an interest develop language in that interest. So instead of just car say big car or blue car.

Also do a 20 min play where you show who’s boss. Copy them a lot and then slowly add words. But seriously we need to dumb the words down a lot.
Also avoid asking them what’s this. It’s too much for kids especially with speech delay. Let them understand and comprehend what ‘this’ is.
We are on the waiting list for a speech and language therapist. They’ve given a time of 3-4 months. They advised try some home techniques and hopefully it’ll make a progress. But don’t just jump straight to private without trying to develop those linguistic bonds and techniques first. Basically try all the tricks advised after seeing someone first... then get going with the therapy.

It’s such a shame how majority are boys with delays

@hye123 Thanks for coming back to the thread with an update on your boy’s Chatterbox assessment, interesting to hear the feedback. I’ll try the exercises/activities you’ve mentioned. I think my son will struggle with concentrating on this type of activity, but will try it.

Funnily enough, my boy sounds similar in terms of behaviour - repetitive play (especially with cars) and not following instructions. I have his 2 year check with the HV tomorrow as well as his Little Talkers session (where they’re going to give him a communication assessment), so let’s see how that goes.

It’s a similar waiting list for NHS SLT in my area - 18 weeks. I’ve booked in for one private session to start with, just to see if they offer a different perspective.

@Hye123 yes really interesting. I suppose repetitive play is a red flag for autism, but the thing is toddlers love repeating stuff. My DS is about 8 months older than yours and @Lightbright 's and I would say around 2 he was very repetitive, but now not so much. For example he loved those cutting fruit you can chop in half ( they have Velcro or magnets). He would chop and stick a good hour or drive his cars lying on the floor.

But he is becoming more imaginative and those things become a small part of a bigger game or pretend play adventure.

I will also try the tips. I am guilty of asking "what is this? But my DS will say if he knows, but doesn't know a lot of common words.

Children don't play by saying Digger driving, but if we say it enough ( hopefully it goes in) Does make me feel like Justin Fletcher / mr tumble some days, I could make my own Something special tv show with my over acting.

I’ve been reading into the whole behavior therapy and speech therapy strategies. Starting Next week, I’m going to implement new strategies I’ve researched.
When kids are doing repetitive behaviors (especially kids who we have concern with) it’s our duty to manage the behavior. So manage the way there repeating. Explain to them it’s not the correct way and then make it consistent so that way they understand.

Getting new toys and a new table/ chair where he can enjoy sitting. This would hopefully help with his attention to learning speech in an interactive way. Also new toys to end the repetitiveness but also to show him who’s boss and how to play.

I know it sounds harsh. But a lot of behavior therapy needs to be consistent and implemented on a daily basis in order for changes to be seen.

It’s similar to when I got DS off the dummy/ bottle in to using a cup. It was hard but it got better.

Hopefully things can progress with our little boys. But I think if anyone has these concerns, it’s good we are thinking of the possibilities such as autism. Being prepared and trying our best works out in the long run.

It’s good that you’re trying new approaches @hye123 to engage your little boy. Personally if I tried to show my son the ‘right way’ to play with a toy in all likelihood he’ll ignore me or throw a tantrum 😆 I’d be reluctant to stop him playing in a certain way (unless he’s hurting himself for example) but if it feels like it’s becoming a bit overly repetitive I’d try to catch his attention and attempt to direct his focus to something else.

For example my boy is currently going through a phase of repeatedly connecting and disconnecting Duplo blocks - I think there’s no harm in him doing this for a certain amount of time, but if it’s going on for ages, I might see if I can encourage him to play with them in a different way or sing a song and encourage him to join in.

Concerns of autism are always in the back of my mind, to be honest. My childminder has never raised any such concerns (in fact, they’re not overly concerned about his speech, though they’ve acknowledged there’s a delay). On the other hand, a close family member is a developmental psychologist whose research is focused on children with autism. She tells me that early interventions aimed at children with heightened risk of ASD benefit from speech and language therapy, and in many ways the techniques employed are similar to SALT.

What did the HV say and how did your course session go @Lightbright ?

I'm going to book a private SLT assessment. I can't really afford it ( they seem to be £175- £200) and I know we would struggle to fund weekly therapy, but maybe for a short time we can try until I can get another NHS review

A friends Autistic son goes to a preschool attached to a special school. He started at 3.5 and had to leave him mainstream preschool. All sessions are 1-2-1. So he goes 12.30 -30pm, 3 x per week, but is not with other children. He had a speech delay, but has come on really well. They have said he has made so much progress he won't qualify as serious enough to go the special school for infants . Is this the type of early intervention they offer ?

Hi @snoringdoggo, the HV didn’t raise any major concerns at his development check. In fact, he actually scored fine in the communication category, but that’s because most of the questions were about his understanding rather than expressive speech. But she still referred him for an SLT assessment because I’d raised concerns some time ago and there hasn’t been much improvement. So we have an 18 week wait for that. And obviously like you there’s still no guarantees that he’ll go on to access SLT.

Which area are you based in? The private SLT assessment sounds quite expensive where you are. We’re in the NW and the private speech therapist we’ve booked in to see is charging for a regular session (£58) - I think it’s only half an hour but she will try to assess the problem. We can’t really afford ongoing sessions either, but we’ll just try and do what we can manage. I figure some sessions could have some benefit. Most importantly for me, I’m keen to understand the cause - whether it’s physiological or other reasons.

If I were in your shoes, I’d be tempted to call NHS SLT again and gently (!) press them for the next available sessions that your son could access. Or is it a case of waiting for a certain amount of time before they’ll see him again?

I wish, in hindsight, I’d insisted on the NHS referral when I had the opportunity to when the HV came to see him at 22 months. I’m sure she would’ve gone with what I’d asked for then (as in, if I felt strongly that I wanted the referral she would’ve done it then). I just didn’t want to be OTT and thought I’d just try the Little Talkers group first. Anyway, we live and learn!

Re. early interventions - it sounds like your friend’s son has made great progress from attending the pre-school. I’m not exactly sure what early interventions are available across the board, but what my family member is looking at is programmes that are introduced early on (around our children’s age) that is designed to improve social and communicative development. Which is why there are similarities with SALT.

Ahh yes 30 minutes sessions seem to be £40 -£60 plus travel, here so actually pretty similar. However they all seem to want to do an initial assessment first. I'm in the SE.

My DS scored badly on his communication on his 2 year review- about half of the points. We had ours at 27 months though, so had an additional questionnaire to fill from the 24 month one. His understanding is fine though, but he can't draw a stick man  .The HV just said wait and see. She wasn't actually a qualified health visitor but anyway.

I was told 18 week wait for referral. I completed the referral form myself, HV still not interested unfortunately but they gave me the info in the end to refer, was painful to get to this point. I put loads of detail and we got a call within 3 weeks of me sending it. I an appointment within 2 weeks of that. So fingers crossed it happens that way for you.

We can ask to be seen again by NHS SLT in 3 months if a miracle hasn't happened. My DS will be 3 by then, so we will see with the private SLT.

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How is everyone getting on. We have our private SLT assessment booked for next week. Trying to chase up the NHS SLT assessment report, so I can compare.

Did you have your SLT session yet @Lightbright ?

And did you start your new routine this week @Hye123 ?

Watching this thread with interest. My ds is 22 months and not saying much. Just had hearing test and now waiting for next steps.

Hi @snoringdoggo, we had our private SLT session today, which was very positive and encouraging. It was a 30 minute session, and the SLT did the assessment by playing and interacting with my son, and asked us a few questions as she did this. She got out a bunch of toys and suggested various things to gently assess his understanding e.g ‘can you put the brush on the bed?’ ‘can you pour mummy (a doll) a drink?’ I was actually very surprised as how well engaged he was in the task - he sat and followed everything she was saying to him (he’s not usually that cooperative!).

Her opinion is that because his understanding is good and is not showing any signs of delay in other areas, she believes his speech will catch up. She says because he’s using single words at the moment, his language level is at the levels normally expected at the 12-18 month mark. She believes we need to develop his language model, starting with nouns.

She says we probably currently talk to him like he’s 2, so for example, ‘do you want to go to the park today and go on the swings? Let’s get in the car and get in your seat...etc etc’ Instead i need to simplify my language and repeat key words: ‘do you want to go on the swing? Let’s play on the swing...etc’.

She also asked what toys he likes - I said cars are his main thing. She said there’s only a limited number of ways you can play with a car (drive them, crash them) so not the best for imaginative play - she recommended getting him a doll and so we can have more interactive play sessions like tea parties, naming parts etc.

She said we don’t need to have anymore sessions, but we’re welcome to contact her in 6 weeks to let her know how he’s getting on with his nouns and if we need any tips on building his verbs (she’s not charging for this).

She also advised that we have a GP check his ears to rule out glue ear etc.

Well of course this was all very reassuring to hear...but obviously I’m still scratching my head slightly - there’s no reason for his delay - he just is delayed. She didn’t think he showed any signs of autism.

So we need to keep working on it, encouraging him and making an effort to keep him engaged.

I hope it all goes well for your boy’s assessment @snoringdoggo

@dreamyflower have you been in touch with your health visitor?

Brilliant, so reassuring that your DS has great understanding and could follow the instructions. Grrr why aren't they like that with us? I know it feels annoying there's no reason. I felt the same after DS' NHS assessment and I then assume it's my fault, for not talking in the right way or letting him watch too much TV.

@dreamyflower I think @Lightbright assessment shows it's well worth just getting a private SLTs opinion. I wish I had arranged to do it sooner, we just don't have much money. I'm looking forward to ours, will be worth it.

I've been researching NHS therapy seems to be the group courses and they if you are lucky 6 weeks of 30 min sessions then a long break ( I've read of 3 month breaks) Anything is better than nothing.

Thanks, yes the session was reassuring but admittedly made me feel a bit like a not very good parent by not ‘teaching’ him well enough! I just assumed if a child is healthy and you have a normal family life, your child will just automatically start to talk. He has lots of stimulation - we do all the usual stuff, like go for walks and talk about what we see, go to classes and activities, he has little friends and benefits from time at an excellent childminders too. I think it’s a lot to do with his personality - he likes people but he doesn’t thrive off interactions so not motivated to communicate. My nephew, who’s just a bit older, thrives off company and always has been like that - so he seems motivated to chat for that level of engagement. I’ll keep trying my best and see what happens over the coming months. He has said a few new words this past week so that’s been encouraging. I’ll post an update further down the line.

Let us know how your son gets on with his assessment @snoringdoggo

@Lightbright of course, I'll post next week. And I totally agree my DS is a shy personality. I'm relatively introverted, but it doesn't stop me doing things and I'm quiet. My DH is the same but is actually a quiet person. So I think it maybe somewhat genetic. We do the same as you, lots of normal family stuff. I can't believe everyone else is talking in a special way to their DC. But then maybe I have spoke too normally, to my DS and not baby talked him. So there maybe something in that. My DH always says about me " why would snoringdoggo use 5 words when they can use 50."

• Errr I meant I'm not quiet

Hi all & @Lightbright we had our private speech assessment.

Just to recap my DS is now 2 years 8 months and doesn't do sentences. He has limited words and many are part words.

Anyway very thorough process with the private SLT. Did the usual checking understanding like the NHS one did. Put Peppa pig on the chair, where's Peppa's nose, here's Peppa's ears, so where are your ears? All fine. Peppa seems to be popular with speech therapists 🐷

Then moved on to testing specific sounds to see if my DS could say them. Some he can say some early ( some apparently aren't expected until 4/5) , but some he should have he doesn't say. I was pretty amazed would could copy so many. Never copies me if I ask him to say xxx

The main issue seems to be my DS only says the first sound of a word then not the rest of it. So at times I can understand, but often I can't and others certainly can't. So he doesn't speak when outside the house. So partly it's confidence to try to be understood. Even my parents struggle and they see him regularly. Sorry I'm prob repeating stuff I've said done thread.

It's hard for me to repeat the word correctly if I have no idea what he is saying. If he has a toy horse in his hand and says Horrrrr then I can guess its horse he said. He has some words he has been saying a while, but misses part of the word so has learned them incorrectly.

Anyway SLT said he a specific speech delay affecting certain blends (sounds.) It's a strange one as for example he can say Ssssssss for snake but can't say S at the end of a word like cats. Therapy has been recommended as apparently it's a tough one to crack without. They said he would do best with play based therapy, to keep him engaged and he struggled on the more formal testing, which is more like school phonics learning for year 1.

So it's good to get a another view on it and it was much more in-depth than the NHS assessment. I think the NHS policy blocked any help for DS, rather than him not needing it.

I can see from the assessment it's hard to work with young children for long due to concentration.

I am going to have some private SLT sessions with DS. I am planning to do weekly sessions and then ask to be reassessed by the NHS. The NHS said I could ask in 3 months if no improvement. So this is going to be a big strain to fund, but I feel I have no choice as we could go back to the NHS and still not get any sessions. Plus I've heard ( from reading on various sites) that the NHS doesn't offer many sessions and then gives long rest gaps.

The SLT said whilst it's best to repeat words correctly when you hear your child attempting a word. Usually they would not suggest to stress or over emphasise a sound, but but I am to do this to try to fill in the missing sounds for DS due his specific issue.

Hope this helps. And for reference I self referred to NHS SLT at 2 years 6 months, after being fobbed off so many times by my HV. I think it's good to at least get in the system.

Hi @snoringdoggo, thanks for posting the update and letting us know how you and your son got on at his assessment today. Glad it was a productive and useful session. Interesting to hear what they said about his speech - some of the things you say sound familiar to me - e.g. my boy can also make a 'ssss' sound for a snake, but would never make an 's' sound at the end of a word. He doesn't 'finish' words either, for example, he says 'dig' for 'digger' - he's never attempted to make the 'er' sound to finish it. At the moment he keeps saying something like 'my ball' but it's not in relation to his ball - I have no clue what he's trying to say and he's getting frustrated in the process! Like you, if I don't know what he's saying, I can't repeat it back to him so he learns the correct way to say it! Frustrating for everyone.

Anyway, hope you start to hear progress as you have your sessions.

We've had quite a quiet week on the speech front this week as my boy has had a virus and all he wants to do is sit in front of the TV...I'm going a bit mad listening to YouTube videos all day long!

@Lightbright it's dig here too. I think it's ok short term, as they develop but, he's been saying dig for about a year. He can't say er even by itself.

We met someone this morning who's name ended in ie and he just said the first part. I know he can't say ie. He is talking more, single words, but 90% of words don't have an ending.

He just said "More bi" which is biscuit . Is that a sentence ha ha ? no.

Hi @snoringdoggo (and anyone else following this thread!). Just wondered how your boy is getting on with SLT? Our NHS referral finally came through, 18 weeks to go...

Our language development efforts were thwarted a bit recently as my boy had a nasty virus and his two year molars are cutting through, which made for a generally uphappy boy who didn’t want to engage in much play (just wanted to watch TV - All. The. Time). But he’s getting back on track this week, more interested in play and trying to say more. I was amazed when he told me he wanted to nap yesterday rather than go to our toddler class (‘I sleep’) - this has never happened! He’s also starting to let me know when he’s hungry (‘I sit’ - meaning he wants to sit in his high chair). This has been very encouraging, especially as he was pretty much grunting at me last week when he wasn’t well.