Friend suggested dd1 may have mild ADD today. Not hung up on labels and things, but...

[Ellbell]

DD1 is just 7, very lively, very happy, quite bright (especially in reading) but finds it hard to concentrate, is often in a world of her own, doesn't listen at school so misses instructions and then is slow to finish work (or gets into trouble for chatting to others trying to find out what she's meant to be doing). She has had a teacher in Year 2 who has (IMO, and judging from what she - the teacher - has said to me) viewed this behaviour consistently as 'just naughtiness' and who has given me the impression that she feels dd is more trouble than she's worth.

DD moves to a new school in September. Started wondering about this because she has been separated from a lot of her closest friends (even though she'd asked to stay with them) and I wondered if this was because of her behaviour (i.e. trying to isolate her in the hope of making her behave better????). Anyway, was talking about this to a friend (who is also a Reception teacher) and the friend suggested that I have a word with dd's new teacher at the beginning of the year to explain that I really do think that dd has genuine problems focusing, rather than just wanting to be disruptive or naughty. And the friend dropped into the conversation that maybe dd has very mild ADD or something. Now (before people jump on me), obviously I know that friend isn't qualified to 'diagnose' my dd (and wasn't trying to - she was trying to help and it was just a throwaway comment) and that anyway it doesn't matter a jot... my dd is still my dd, she's doing fine at school (despite being away with the fairies half the time) and really the only 'problem' is whether she is perceived as naughty when she really doesn't intend to be so. But this is preying on my mind now...

I've got to the end of this post and I don't really know what I'm asking. I suppose I just want someone to tell me that I'm right in saying that this doesn't matter and that I should just let dd get on with being herself and growing up in her own unique (sometimes frustrating) way. (Was looking for the 'dreamer of dreams' thread, but couldn't find it. Anyone from there... does this ring a bell?)

Sorry your dd missed out on the school place she wanted, jura. My dd is very (sometimes too) sociable, but her relationships with her friends (this year, not so much before) do tend to be a bit 'up and down' (not sure if all 7-year-olds are like that, though). I know that in her new class some of the girls are quieter and more sensible, so maybe it'll be good for her...

I think I will talk to the teacher anyway, since I don't want her to be 'tainted' by a poor report from her Year 2 teacher and get off on the wrong footing. It seems the teacher and their attitude can make a huge difference. From being pretty much dismissed as a time-waster all year, the last two weeks (when dd has had a different teacher as normal one having an operation) dd has been asked to read out her work in carpet-time, has been praised for her reading, and today got the class award (weekly thing) for good work. Spot the difference!

Sorry, jura, pressed post too early. Meant to add that I hope assessment give you and your dd some answers and some practical help.

Tehre are losts of reasons for such behaviour , distractability, hearing/visual difficulties, verbal processing issues, lack of interest, some of which could fall into assessment territory, some of which are character traits and some developmental. Think your friend has jumped the gun tbh but making the new teacher aware of your concerns is a good start, then she can give you a disinteretsed opinion further down the line and guide you.

Thanks LIZS. Her hearing and eyesight have been tested and seem to be fine. (She was complaining that the school disco was too loud last week!) But she often seems not to hear, because she is able to take herself off into another world so very easily.

Maybe she is particularly sensitive to noise and finds it harder to concentrate and to filter the relevant sounds. ds does n't like noisy situations and becomes frustrated in freer lessons such as art when it is at a distracting level. I had a partial hearing loss and would gaze out of the window and selectively hear unless I was specifically positioned near the front of the classroom .

That's interesting LIZS. She did better than her teacher expected in her practice SATS, and I think that was because there were no distractions, so she didn't have any option but to focus on the work in front of her. I am also very sensitive to noise and as a child remember cycling miles out of my way to avoid having to go past a pneumatic drill!

Think I'll ask new teacher to keep an eye on her and consider any possible techniques which might help her to concentrate a bit better.

Thanks to you and jura for the input. I feel a lot calmer now!

Ellbell:

here are the dreamers' threads:

#1

#2

#3

for searching, I'd look for indignatio's posts

Oh - and as for ringing a bell, one thing that is very different in your dd than in my ds (and therefore makes me think your dd's problems are very mild if problems at all) is that she's asking other children for the instructions she's missed - so the sequence is: she knows there were instructions; she's got enough group-dynamic awareness to see that others are working away & that she should be; and she's choosing a perfectly logical (if not teacher-pleasing!) way of helping herself catch up.

It's quite different from someone whose group-sense is fundamentally awry.

There's a very old thread (started by me) which asks how/when those of us who were space-cadets at school grew out of it. Turned out we all ended up at rather good universities ...