Is it possible to sometimes despise your own child?

[Jambalaya76]

He is 6. Very well behaved at school. Impeccable in fact. But at home he is a monster. Demanding, rude, hurtful, violent, very needy, destructive and not nice to be around. We have tried to get help from the school and have used behaviour modifying techniques, using rewards and consequences to actions. But he is very trying and I find my patience is low with him. It's like he enjoys trouble and being shouted at.
I do love him, but can't stand him at the same time. I desperately need help because I want to make our relationship better and give him better childhood memories other than being shouted at

Any advice would be gratefully recurved

Received

I don't have any great advice. But it sounds like you're doing really well. Of course it's normal not to like our children sometimes. They are trying.

Your DS' behaviour sounds extreme though. I would push for the school or maybe GP to get a special needs assessment. He may have EBD?

Even if he doesn't it's useful for you to talk to someone about it like a doctor or health visitor.

You could try reading the Explosive Child by Ross Greene. He recommends leaning in, ie catching them being good, having fun with them etc. Ignoring bad behaviour where possible. Rewarding good behaviour. Giving natural consequences eg let them go out without a coat and feel cold, if they break something don't replace it etc. Worked with my guy somewhat. Also getting them involved in rule making and consequence setting. Is he very bright? He may just be a bit behind in his emotional development.