Distressed and worried about sudden change in behaviour

[DistressedAndWorried7845]

Hello all

Throwaway username to keep anon- I wonder if anyone has any words of wisdom for a very tearful and worried mum.

My son turned 3 in December and up until this point he has always been happy (bar a few tantrums here and there), giggly, sociable and just generally lovely. The past maybe week or so I’ve noticed a sudden change in his behaviour that I’m so worried about and I can’t cry anymore over it, so it seemed apt to seek solace amongst the plethora of knowledge that is mumsnet.

All of a sudden he seems so withdrawn and clingy (which he has NEVER been- even as a baby). He cries at every little thing (say, for instance, his sock isn’t on completely right), and despite enjoying the class for a year now, suddenly doesn’t want to participate in his gymnastics anymore in favour of sitting out while his brother (2) plays and jumps around happily.

Today is my final straw; he has taken himself off to his room to sleep since 10 am and for the last two days he’s been saying his tongue hurts (I’ve checked it thoroughly multiple times and I can’t see anything wrong with it so it seems odd)

I’m just so bloody worried. I’m sorry if this is a bit jumbled and silly, I just can’t see the wood for the trees right now and I’m starting to think my constant worrying and crying over it is exacerbating it all.

Thank you for reading if you got this far!

D

You sound very upset and concerned, so I'd suggest talking to a health visitor or GP. It sounds like growth spurt /teeth / illness as they often get clingy at that time, but worth investigating if he is saying that his tongue hurts, just to rule out allergies or strep throat etc. Please also mention your level of anxiety - it does sound like you are having difficulty coping at the moment?

Thank you so much for your reply Long!

I am struggling- I have terrible health anxiety (about myself). I worry maybe he’s picking up on it? I don’t know. I’ve never worried like these about either of my children before; they’ve always been so easy, and any illness has just been standard vomiting/colds/general kids stuff. I feel really out of my depth probably for the first time since I had them both and it’s scaring the crap out of me!

"the past maybe week or so" - it has only been a week! infants will go through phases all the time, one week being super confident and social to the next week feeling scared and clingy. At this age it could be a million things changing his mood in the past week with 99% of them being not concerning at all. I think that you really need to treat your anxiety as that, in time, could cause a negative impact on your child.

You’re right Aladdin- I didn’t post this lightly though; I have never felt anxiety or worries about his behaviour or development before now, I’ve honestly been taking it in my stride for 3 years. But I just have a niggling feeling something isn’t quite right and it seems behaviour related rather than a physical problem.

To be honest, writing it all down was very cathartic for me and I feel very relieved to have just got it all out. I’m glad to hear a change in behaviour is normal, I think my worry comes from ‘is it normal for him’. I think GP visit is a good idea! Thanks all.

My DD is 3, and she just went through a very weird few weeks.
From happy, chatty and lovely to a clingy, crying nightmare. She would take herself upstairs to bed as well and complain she was sick constantly.
I was so worried, went to the doctor and he said that children can go though phases like this and to just ride it out. 2 weeks later after a couple of awful nights sleep, she woke up back to her usual self. So odd. I cant explain it but hopefully it’s the same for you!

Update:

Thank you so very much to everyone that has replied, I forgot how much I used to love this place.

So it turns out, in my infinite wisdom as a dr of bugger all, I didn’t understand where he was pointing- it wasn’t his tongue, it was his throat and he’s developed a stuffy nose and a hoarse throat tonight...

I think you are all right; my anxiety took over on this one. Crikey.