Please tell me about your 'spirited' children who grew up to be lovely!

[M0reGinPlease]

DD is 3.5. She's often described as 'spirited' or 'gosh, she's got lots of personality hasn't she?!'. Basically she's tenacious, stubborn, knows her own mind and is confident. She's very advanced with her vocabulary and talks constantly.

These are all skills I know I will want her to have in later life but my gosh it's knackering on a daily basis! Sometimes I want to cry just trying to get her to put her shoes and coat on and leave the house. Going head to head with her ('put your shoes on' 'no!' 'Put your shoes on' 'no!' Etc) just isn't good for anyone, so my day is a constant round of persuasion and encouragement to do the stuff we simply must do. She's pretty good at knowing my hard limits and when I say no I mean it, but it's simple stuff like getting dressed, stopping talking long enough to eat a meal or not negotiating with me when I ask her to put her shoes on.

I feel awful writing this. She's a truly amazing little girl and I don't want to crush her spirit but it can be exhausting! I think the main thing is because her speech is so advanced everything is a discussion opportunity. I know it's a phase and she's learning so much each day but it's really hard sometimes!

Please tell me about your spirited toddlers who've grown up to be fab!

My 3 year old son sounds identical. He is also still a terrible sleeper...
I will wait with you for these positive stories...

Mine sleeps. I'd loose my mind if not. Sympathies @Summerdays2014

My dd is a force of nature. She's 11, very stubborn, doesn't really like it when she's asked to do things, doesn't see why she can't be in charge etc but on the whole is a gloriously funny, thoughtful, loving child and her more stubborn tendencies rarely are an issue because of how I handle her. Every child needs different parenting eg my mum didn't really have to set boundaries with me or tell me no. I was a quiet, thoughtful, bookish child and while I also have a stubborn streak I was respectful and knew when to reign it in. My dd on the other hand has complex additional needs so she lacks boundaries and empathy and doesn't really understand that she isn't the centre of everyone's universe so she needs very strict boundaries, I can't ask her to do things as it becomes a negotiation so I don't ask her to do anything I tell her to do everything. Also when I say no I never give in.

Rather than "put your shoes on" try "do you want to wear your trainers or your wellies?" or "When you've put your shoes on we can go to the park."
That doesn't give the option of "no".

With one of mine I used to ask "do you want your coat forwards or backwards?"*

*If they wear it backwards you'll be amazed at the number of people who think they need to stop you and tell you that it's backwards.

I was a child very much like your dd- I'm quite a civilised adult. But use the questioning attitude in my profession as an academic.

Dd was also constantly arguing and questioning at the age of 2 and 3, but very well behaved as a teenager and is a lovely adult.

Two of those here. How they’ve made it to 12 and 16 is amazing really. There have been many moments, but it has all been worth it. Yes, they can still be tricky, but I have to remember they are now teens!

The main thing for me is that they are polite and chatty with familiar and non familiar adults, polite and hard working st school etc. My boy’s teachers have been full of praise for them at their recent parents evenings - this so makes all the ‘hard’ times worthwhile. My boys always questioned everything and wanted to do things ‘their way’ or ‘ independently’. This has translated to a great work ethic and a true thirst for learning and both hit their stride in upper primary/ secondary school.

My son is a handful. He loves to keep us on our toes constantly as well as his twin sister his partner in mischief making and his playmate too.
Yesterday he basically capaulted out of his wheelchair at breakfast and was rushed to the hospital. My son’s team have told me they don’t think he’s cognitively impaired in any way.

I was lulled into a false sense of security when DS1 was born. He was such an easy child then DS2 came along. OMG! He was just like your DD. He was caring, affectionate, funny, strong willed, knew his own mind and determined. DS2 just turned 18 (a birthday I doubted he would see on many an occasion🤣) and still the same but a lot easier to handle. As he learnt the art of compromise and negotiation things have got easier but it was a long struggle. One I am repeating with DS4. I'm so glad DS1 and DS3 are so laid back they are almost comatose 🤣

My ds1 was younger he was a very challenging child - always the one doing the wrong thing, exceptionally stubborn but also exceptionally curious and determined. He found primary school tricky at times (he is dyslexic, could not talk until he was 6 and struggled socially). However he is flying at secondary school. After the first parents evening my dh and I were literally in tears with the amazing comments the teachers made. They love his curiosity and his determination, his enthusiasm for learning and have recognised his strengths. He has even been put on the gifted and talented programme for maths. We are so proud.

My son is 18 months and he acts like he's 4!! Rvrything is no. He speaks in almost full sentences which is always something people comment on since other toddlers his age only say 2/3 word sentences. I've noticed sassy kids start speaking really early though! So if I say "let's put your socks on." He runs away and says "not putting socks on" or "no mama no socks feet" takes me over an hour to get us dressed int he morning is exhausting!! He's hilarious and "lots of personality as well" but also very very exhausting. So I can't wait to also hear some great stories lol

Oh OP I could have written this post! It’s exhausting isn’t it. Daily struggles with my DD (almost 3) include the coat, the shoes, teethbrushing, eating (fussy eater - joy), hairbrushing, getting into the buggy (I don’t even bother trying any more 😆) - the list goes on. I worry that if she’s like this now, what will I have on my hands as a potentially stroppy teenager?! But obviously I love her to death and when she’s sweet, it just makes me melt.

I have Ds2 age 6 very spirited and similar to your DC OP. Just the other day he rescued his baby sister from a potentially catastrophic incident. He pulled a steel barrier off her which had fallen on top of her. He is hard work but turning into the most amazing little man. His independent thinking, strong will and determination mean that his little sister is OK today.