ADHD?

[Mumofoneandanotherontheway]

I don’t know why I’m evening putting this post up...

I have a 4yr Old & we’re a bit concerned about his behaviour... hubby keeps saying it may be ADHD... although I keep saying it’s definitely not, it’s more I’m not willing to accept it if it is. I must sound like a awful parents my emotions are all over the place as I’ve also got a 3m old.

Behaviour:

• Jumps around on furniture (sofas, dining table, sideboards)
• When we tell him to stop doing something, he totally refuses or answers back saying ‘No I won’t, I can do what I want’
• Started to hit me occasionally
• refuses to listen at any time
• randomly comes & screams in the babies face
• makes more noise when baby is asleep, when we tell him to stop he refuses
• not listening when at the supermarket

I don’t know, just need someone else other than my family to speak to...

Please don’t judge xx

You don't sound like an awful parent and no judgement at all! Must be really hard. I have a 4 month old and I don't know how you are managing two... especially as one is displaying challenging behaviour at the mo! Is he at school? Is this sort of behaviour repeated there (or nursery)? Is there someone there who you could speak to about him? Could a change in behaviour be linked to his feelings about the new baby?

Thank you for your reply surreygirl

He attends nursery 5days a week & he’s not as bad there. There’s some pushing but most of the time I hear someone pushed him etc... not really had a lot of complaints about him, that’s what makes me think maybe it’s not adhd else he would be like that there too
He’s always been abit boytrious but I feel as though he’s got abit worse since Lo has come along... we try and spend a lot of time with him & give him the attention he needs... we’re having a cinema date with him next week with lunch followed by bowling & will be leaving Lo with parents.... hoping it’s just a faze
Xx

What's his diet like? First thing I'd do is cut processed sugars if possible. When my son has juice or any processed food he goes bonkers. He's only allowed sugar from fruit or natural food because of this reason. It's as if his body is on a high, it's insane! Also I'd sit him down and speak to him. Listen to what he has to say. Don't allow him to hit you ever. You are the parent OP. You need to make it clear you will NOT allow him to hurt you, or anyone else. Also definitely not ever scream at the baby. Be stern. Be clear what is now allowed.

ADHD is a difficult one, as unlike other developmental disorders (like autism) it does not have many observable and reliable markers. All 4YR olds will be active, they will all jump in beds/sofas, run back and forth, spin until they fall dizzy, etc, that's what they do. ADHD in the inability to concentrate or conform to structure hence why most diagnoses are done at 5YR when they start school as these two things are required in a school classroom and hence symptoms become very apparent.

From your description I don't think it's ADHD, it could be diet or a generally excited child. Is he able to sit down with you to read a book? even for 5 minutes? is he able to sing and do the actions to a song with you? does he enjoy bath time and will he sit on the bath for 5-10 mins playing with bath toys? is he able to sit down for 5 mins doing a simple 10-piece jigsaw, shape sorter, build a tower of blocks, etc? does he settle at night to go to sleep generally OK? does he actually sleep a full night without much disruption? etc..... a 4YR old with ADHD would find all these activities very challenging.

I would say with adhd you might see
Impulsive behaviour like hitting/spitting/biting
Struggling to stop when walking on the pavement
Not sitting down for story at nursery

My dc put crisps down the toilet then when on the naughty step drew on the skirting in felt-tip
They react to some food colouring - mainly red and at a party she was crawling on the floor and crying. I had to take her out for a wee to calm down.
For her she knows what she shouldn't do. It could be for a reaction. It is often when tired.
Even from a baby ignored the word no so would have to be physically stopped.
Earlier i was baking and she dropped raisins on the floor (she knows we do not eat food from the floor), but picked it up intending to put them in ignoring my no, no, no until I physically stopped her and made her do a time out.
It's like an extreme strong will.