Very Shy DC

[VaperCut]

I have two DC, 9 and 6. DS 9 was selectively mute in nursery but slowly overcame it in Reception. They are both chatty with people they are comfortable with (friends, relatives, their class teacher), but seem to clam up with those they don't know very well.
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This morning a member of staff at their school greeted them and they both silently walked past and went into the building. The staff member asked me if they were ok and I told her they are shy, we are working on it etc. She told me they come across as rude and it's not acceptable. I don't want them being like this either, I know their shyness is an issue and holds them back from so much but pressuring them to overcome it isn't going to work. They do activities they enjoy but it hasn't helped their social skills much yet. What do I do? Her comments annoyed me but I know she is right.

Totally agree with you, I think that staff member was the rude one! that would annoy me too!

If they are too shy to speak could they give her a big smile, thumbs up or high 5, that way they are responding to her in some way

Thanks for the replies.

They probably wouldn't smile, they tend to usually have their heads down and beeline their way to class as quickly as possible. But a high five might work.

Funny thing is that member of staff is the school pastoral care worker, so would imagine her to be more understanding towards how different children can be.