Daughter developing early

[sapphire]

I did post something similar a while back but then my puter went bang and I couldn't check for responses!

My daughter was eight in may and seems to be developing at an alarming rate. She's already got noticeable breasts and is starting to get hairy in certain places. She, as usual, seems to be taking it all in her stride, but I can tell that she is a bit embarrassed about it and doesn't want to talk to her friends about it. Although a couple of them do seem to be sprouting bumps, none is as far developed as my poor girl!

I saw the recently Teen Species programme a few weeks ago, and on there it was stated that girls develop early normally because of excess stress,and are more likely to encounter problems with depression, drugs etc in the future. I split up with her dad last year after a very oppressive few years; is this to blame for her development, and have I set her up for a tricky life?

Has anyone else experienced such early development? Have you got any advice on either ways of slowing it down (if thats possible) or just how to help her to cope and accept what is happening to her?

Perhaps worth cheching with your GP. You can get precocious puberty which is early onset, younger than 8 yrs I think but that age group may be included. Girls are certainly developing at much younger ages now but 8 yrs does seem young to me.

A couple of my friends have girls who are about the same age as your DD. They too have the same experiences. I don't think their periods have started yet though. ( I presume you have done that chat with her - so there will be no surprises ? )

One of the friends established from her GP that there was "treatment" ( injections I think ) to slow down the process of puberty - but she finally decided not to take that route as the GP was not able to reassure her about possible problems in the future.

I think the only thing that worried both Mums was the bullying/teasing that their DDs were experiencing at school.

HTH

I developed really early, I was shaving my legs and under arms by 10 (it could have been earlier but mum wouldn't let me) and my periods started before I'd left junior school. I also needed a bra at junior school but again mum didn't get me one because she was worried about the teasing. I was teased a bit but it wasn't too bad, I think that the other girls were jealous as I was allowed to use the staff toilets!

One thing I would be aware of is that we changed for P.E. in the classroom with the boys, it might be worth asking your daughter's teacher if they have separate changing areas as I did find that awkward.

BTW I wasn't particularly stressed, am not depressed, nor have I taken drugs etc. I really wouldn't blame yourself, I just think some girls do develope early - I had a friend who started her periods at the same time I did so it isn't that unusual, and I can remember on the Lilets film that they showed us they used an example of a girl starting at 9 as normal. (B**y telly, coming up with yet something else for us to beat ourselves up about!)

The only thing I can say is to really talk about the changes of her body (if you have not already) and what is to come in the future since she is developing early. Kids today are developing quite earlier then years ago. I dont think the split up is the blame. Its normal for some girls to start early. Just like its normal for some to start really late. Just explain the changes and let her know its completely normal and that all her friends will go through this change too just at different times. I would if you havent already talk to her about menstruation. You wouldnt want this to be a big surprise on her. Im sure this will follow somewhere down the line if you say she is changing rapidly. At this age it can really shock you. My mother told me of a story of a little girl whos parents never told her about menstruation. She was pretty young. One day she got it in school and was asterical because she started bleeding and did not know what it was from. Good luck helping her through this new change.

Babette Cole (yes she of the "spacehopper" - Mummy laid an Egg) has written a good book about the onset of puberty, which has excellent funny illustrations (and no alarming ones IMO), but the writing for which seems to be aimed at 8-10's.

And no, I'm not her publisher or agent.........

Thanks for the advice, everyone. We have talked quite a lot recently about periods and the changes shhe's going through, and she's not overimpressed with the idea at all! I guess we just have to accept that she's just an early developer! I'll definitely look out for the book you mentioned, Gumdrop, ta for that.