3 year old obsessed with food

[ConstantSnacking]

I’m looking for advice about how to help my 3 year old daughter regulate her food intake/realise when she is full.

She has always been an enthusiastic eater. When she was younger her diet was very varied and healthy - we were quite relaxed about meal quantities, snacks etc, assuming she would learn to self regulate as she got older. However this doesn’t seem to have happened.

Current situation is that she will ask for more after every meal, no matter how big her initial portion has been. She is offered snacks mid morning and mid afternoon but will whine for snacks frequently at other times too, especially if she sees anyone else eating. She will go up to random children at the park that we don’t know and ask them for their food. If she finds discarded crisps/carrot sticks on a park bench she will eat them. At birthday parties she will often eat to the point of vomiting. At restaurants she is a nightmare till the food arrives, eats it all within about two minutes and then tries to steal off others plates. Family events such as barbecues, wedding buffets etc are a total nightmare.

I find it so difficult because I realise the she is a growing child and she will often be genuinely hungry. However I feel that a lot of the time her behaviour is boredom/habit/greed - if we are having one on one time doing something she enjoys she will forget to ask for food until past the time her meal would usually be due. Equally I refuse to believe she is hungry after devouring an enormous plate of food.

She hovers around the top end/sometimes over of what is a healthy weight for her height. The last thing I want to do is create issues around food or a negative body image. But equally I don’t want to allow her to become increasingly overweight.

Her diet is very good, she is not at all fussy, breakfast is porridge, snacks are fruit/veg and meals are protein/veg/carb with yoghurt for pudding in the evening. Obviously exceptions made for meals out, parties etc.

We have talked about trying to listen to your body, and the difference between being hungry/wanting tasty food but I don’t think it’s going in.

We have tried starting with a smaller portion and only giving seconds if she asks, but she always asks! Once we removed her from a birthday party and took her home when she kept trying to eat the tea (which had been set out) even though the host had asked them to wait. She was just as bad at the next party.

Has anyone else had a similar child and found any strategies that helped? Sorry for the length of this post.

Should add that she is developmentally normal, nursery have no concerns about her in general although always comment on her appetite, bright, lots of friends etc.

Asking for food in the park does seem a little unusual but could she be genuinely hungry OP? I'm not sure mine would have coped at that age with just fruit between meals.

My teen was constantly eating, which is normal I know but seemed unusual for him. I read the guide for teens from the Caroline Walker Trust for teens and it turned out he needed more protein and iron. Even though we provide what I though was a good diet, it needed tweaking. Once we'd made the changes, he's back to eating like a regular teen boy.

Have a read of the guide for 1 to 4 year olds and see if there are any tweaks that could hep your DD

Will she accept a drink instead of food? Hunger and thirst signals can be very similar.

In your shoes I would probably set out some fixed meal times and maybe use an alarm so she knows when meal/food times are.

Are her portion sizes age appropriate? How are her bowel movements?

You are doing the right thing by trying to control the amount your child eats. Over 50% of adults are overweight and if a child hits their teenage years overweight they are most likely to become part of that statistic. Part of the issue seems to be that she is hungry but she also isn't listening to you when you tell her not to do something. If I were you I would go to the gp and check that there is no medical reason for her hunger. There are conditions that exist which can result in the person not knowing they are full. If all comes out fine medically then you could ask for some support in dealing with her behaviour. In the meantime stay firm on snacks and keep portion sizes small because it is important that she doesn't overeat regardless of why she is doing it.

I don't see this as a problem... Yet. But definitely encourage more fluids, and if she goes over the healthy weight threshold, go see a GP.

My niece was like this - has no off switch where food is concerned. She’d sat so much on a daily basis she’d throw up. For her it is related to ADHD/ASC and her system not sending the signal that she is full

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts. Good idea to push drinks more and a timer for meals/snacks could work too. She may well be hungry some of the time but often she definitely isn’t. The challenge is trying to work out which is which!

Her portion sizes are probably bigger than they should be based on the link above. It’s tricky though to give her less than the other children, one of whom is smaller, eats just as much but is skinny as a rake.